HARRY
September 21, 2007 is the day that I started not coming home.
It was Summer’s seventeenth birthday. Today is her eighteenth.
I could have given her something special, anything for her birthday but all I ever did was to make her wait. And every year, every year on her birthday she waits but I didn't come. And it breaks my heart every time that I don't.
On that very same day I received a letter from her.
“To Harry.” One of my comrades handed me a letter and the moment I saw the handwriting I knew it was from Summer. My comrade looked at me and sat beside me.
“She’s been writing to you ever since you came here and I hardly see you reply.” I just smiled just for the sake of responding.
People often think that Summer and I are the perfect couple. Because we were together since we were kids that we share the same interests and we hardly ever fight. But really, we are not. Instead we are complete opposites. Summer wanted to stay in her hometown, she is positive that anything she dreams she’ll achieve it here. I wanted to travel, I could’ve left Summer the day I got my acceptance letter but I didn’t. It is hard to just walk away from the girl who spent the rest of her life taking care of you. I wouldn’t chase a dream alone; I convinced myself that time, I’d rather be with her.
I met her since she’s only one. Her mom told me that it was me who gave her her name. Though it doesn’t make sense that she’s named Summer even if she was born in autumn. She never liked summer too, she always loved the snow, loved it to bits though she said it was autumn that she loves most just because I like it.
I can give up anything for her.
But that was just a promise I made.
Some promise that I’m supposed to make.
I tried to prove to myself that she doesn’t affect my decisions.
I tried to live a day without her. Tried to prove myself wrong that I cannot function without her. For one day, I tried to forget. But everywhere I look, everything I see, every scent I smell, every sound I hear, all of them reminds me of Summer.
The cold breeze of the wind is Summer scolding me because I didn’t bring my jacket. The alarm clock I hear every morning is Summer yelling for me to wake up. The sweet scent of the air is Summer standing close to me holding my hand.
Everything I am is Summer. And yet all I ever gave her is pain.
Quote Harry,
I don’t know if the military is working you hard that you forget what today is. Just like how you forgot what last year’s today was. It’s Saturday, in case you forgot again. September 21.
Yes you’re right. Today is my birthday. (Last year was too. You know, my birthday is kind of repetitive so it gets easier to remember really) Maybe you have your own reason why you missed it. Maybe your chief soldiers (or whatever you call them) are giving you a hard time. It’s ok. I’ll let it go for now.
But you have to know how much I hate Celine when she said this, “Aww. Don’t worry Summer he’s just too busy to remember.”
You don’t have to remember everything. The things you forget I’ll make you remember.
I forgot, we had your favorite buttered chicken at the party. I saved some in case you plan to come home. But seeing that it is already 2 pm and you might get this, the least 6pm. I know you won’t be able to come.
I miss you everyday.
Don’t make me wait on my next birthday.
Always,
Summer
There was one point in my life where I blamed Summer for everything that happened to me. If only she wasn’t there when I received my letter, I could have gone straight to med school without having to enlist in the army. If only she was not a year younger, then I wouldn’t have stopped a year just so we can go together.
If only Summer isn’t always there then I wouldn’t be rushing home just so she wouldn’t feel sad. I tried blaming Summer for everything. But I ended blaming myself instead.
I had doubts on coming back, doubts that when I did my love for her would be stronger that I wouldn’t have enough courage to go back to the army. Thinking about it made everything a blur that it makes it hard to know if I was either afraid of ever coming back to the army or just afraid of losing her to Jonathan.
The next thing I know I am stepping out from the train and into the platform where she used to wait for me. I felt a sudden pang in my heart when I didn’t see her there. But it is already past midnight she’s probably asleep.
When I reached her house, her lights are already turned off. Good thing the ladder is still there. I climbed up just like I always do when we were young. I tapped in her window and within seconds she’s already there. The moon illuminating the same familiar face on the picture I hold in my locket everyday when I’m not with her.
“You still have buttered chicken?” I was afraid that she will push me out of her window so I added, “Sorry I’m late. Happy Birthday.” The smile on her face made everything worth it.
“They’re still celebrating September 21st in some country.” I'm lucky that Summer is always forgiving. And in that moment,
With that one moment I was sure that she will always be the reason why I will come back. Little did I know about the things that will happen next.
