part one [ nerd falls for the carrot seller ]

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by sincerelydrew

by sincerelydrew

You know the type. There's a cute nerd and a badass player. I've seen about 84959686760 stories on Wattpad with exactly that same plot. I shit you not. And yes, I did type random numbers on my keyboard. But heck, there might as well be as many of these unoriginal plotlines on here. Might as well. Am I right or am I right?

-coughs-

I'm sick of seeing people sterotyping nerds. She's the girl with the glasses. The glasses are a fucking must. There has to be a pair of glasses involved. Or how else will you sterotype the poor girl? And math. She has to be an expert at math, or she's not a nerd. I'm a nerd too, I wear glasses but I can't do math to save my life. I hate math. Screw math.

So I was going on Rose [northbynorth's] ask account and a person asked her if you're black how is your name Rose?

Let that question sink in. Let it. Fucking asses stereotyping everything. No, black people are supposed to have names like Robisha and Laquisha and Gingivitis. I mean, fuck you, dude. I've got a black classmate named Jane. Jane. J-a-n-e. Get it? Stop sterotyping, whores.

Sorry, went a little off topic there. Lets get back to players. Not every guy talks like yeah man I like her boobs lemme screw her Toby gimme five hundred dollars for this bitch. No, they don't. And he's always soooooo fucking hot with abs and green eyes or blue eyes or orange eyes. Okay, so the last one was over the top, but I could not bring myself to hit backspace. Only 1-2 per cent people in the goddamn world have green eyes. But no, the Wattpad 'authors' must make every single male have blue eyes, or green ones. Or they'll run out of oxygen and die.

Oh and he's got this ultra husky voice. Have you seen the movie Up? See how their Alpha has a puny voice? Yeah? Gonna use that sometime? Okay, so husky voices. He might have TB, or the whooping cough if he talks husky all the time, get him checked.

And how could I possibly forget the blond bimbo? With the huge titties [okay sorry lawl] and the fact that she's a whore. Again, not every girl is Brooke Davis. Plus, Brooke Davis isn't even blond. [I've been watching a little too much One Tree Hill] Why is every blond a whore and every whore a blond?

And half the plot doesn't even make sense. I read this one book in which the girl was a nerd and by the second chapter the male kissed her. Like, hang on, are we on a maglev train or what? And he had a bet to play her and hang on the next part is so unexpected he played her. Note the sarcasm. Wa-hey.

And then the girl changes into a super hot girl within the next month. What the fudge happened? What message are you giving out there? You can't be a beautiful nerd? [No, that sounds weird] Or 'nerds' can't be comfortable in their own skin? They have to look like Jessica Alba? And, here's the [burnt] icing on the [burnt] cake. She wants revenge and he can't recognize her. You can't recognize the girl you slept with? Not every fucking player is a Barney Stinson and for the record, Barney is awesome. I mean, even if I am being unreasonable you can't deny that three splashes of concealer and some lipstick does not change a girl.

I mean, even we knew Miley was Hannah from the start.

Now, time for the originality. Why not make popular girl fall for the thin stick 'nerd' guy? Or even better, make the nerd fall for the carrot seller with no teeth? I gave you a brilliant plot here, people! Any takers out there? No? Oh, well.

Till next time, whores.