Before I knew what it was like to love, before he took me on a roller coaster of emotions, before I traveled through the jungle of confusion with him, I was vulnerable & stupid.
When I First laid eyes on the one and only Chance Quincy, the guy every girl was head over heels for I cringed. "He isn't even cute" I laughed to myself. Our paths were completely different not once did our eyes ever make contact, we were strangers.
Somehow, we started talking online, once a month turned into once a week, and once a week turned into everyday. When we talked more I realized how much we had in common, & the more we socialized and interacted with one another is when I found myself feeling Something I have never felt before. But I pushed it aside knowing how desired and idolized he was, not to mention cocky. Which was a major turn off.
"I think I'm catching feelings for you" Chance told me shyly
I knew the games & i knew he had about 100 girls thinking the same thing.
"Are You sure about that?" I laughed, "Positive" he responded regaining his cocky confident personality.
Although my dome was screaming no, the thought of him catching feelings for me made my heart race and my stomach jitter,
He told me he would get me & he got me.
"Babe" Chance muttered in a raspy voice awaking the butterflies in my stomach
"yeah " I respond trying to hide the affects his actions had on me. " We've been together for 3 months now....& this is the longest I've been with someone..."
Looking up with confusion & curiosity "Chance, what is it? What's wrong?"
Suddenly he kisses me passionately, exiting the topic we were previously on, the kiss deepens & as we break apart I look into his eyes.... Not seeing the happy chocolate espresso eyes , but brown eyes drenched in confusion and sadness.
"Chance,what's going on are you okay?"
" I'm fine Zander" he looks down to continue writing in his journal.
" You've been writing a lot more, & you've been very distant sometimes I feel like you just don't want to talk or you just don't care! If there's something going on with you I think I should know!!"
" ZANDER IT'S NOTHING" the yelling of his voice made me jump, I don't know why but I attempted to walk away until he grabbed my arm & locked his eyes with mine putting me in a trance only he can get me in.
"Zan, I always care I might have a different way of showing it, I am always here if you need me & I appreciate your concern, I love you."
I blinked twice trying to comprehend his words. I forgive him but I don't believe he is being completely honest & that scares me.
" Whatever " I say pulling away the same time as the bell rings signaling that I had to get to class.
" Good timing " I mutter under my breath leaving chance behind in the locker room.
Just because you & your significant other argue, if they put their pride aside to tell you they love you don't be petty and let your anger ruin the chemistry. Not saying I love you back to Chance was another foolish mistake of mine.
I really love Zander. I really love her, is that what I'm feeling? Is it love? I feel something with her, I don't want to lose her.... Ever . She's giving me forever in a limited amount of days. She shows me she cares & she's just so beautiful. When she smiles her face glows and it makes me feel all bubbly inside. I've been so distant from her, it's not because I don't care it's because I do. I'm not good enough for her! I'm Chance Quincy Aka player . I've even played myself thinking I could keep such an amazing girl like her. Why am I allowing the past to interfere with my future with Zander? She's changed me for the better. I feel as if when we're together we are at out best selves & that is great. She is so strong I've put her through so much in these 3 months and here she is still by my side I've always been good at choosing the good ones . But I've never found someone so GREAT, this girl can move mountains with her nails freshly done. Nobody can take her spot !!! But if all these feelings for Zander is true why am I seeing her Best Friend behind her back.
