My Past My Present My Future

The past The hurt the joy

As I continue to think on my past life experiences I try to remember not just the bad but also the good. The first good thing I can remember and will always be proud of was when I was sixteen I had my first child a daughter and even though after being sexually assaulted and becoming a promiscuous and living a fast life that wasn't normal;but as far as I remember my life was anything but normal but having my first child it made me happy and wanting to be a better mom than what I was used to.After having and bringing my daughter home the first shock I had was my daughter crib was in my mom room it was like my sister instead of my child l couldn't change her I couldn't feed her my mom and sister Susan just totally took all my parental duties and I remember feeling like what is going on the last straw came when my daughter was about eight months and I remember me and a couple of my girl friends all went to a neighborhood park with our babies and were just chilling with our kids and out of no where he comes my mom and sister Susan to get the baby I remember saying I got her and I remember them saying no we got her. After they left I was so hurt and just remember thinking okay that's it no more and instead of fighting for my child l just gave up;I really started drinking like a fish to numb my pain and just got buck wild staying out and got a job as a barmaid at seventeen and when they wanted me to watch my daughter or spend time with her it didn't matter and I didn't care no more about myself and definitely didn't want to stay in the house with my daughter or be around no one but as I remember life still went on but for me it wasn't good only got worse.