Underneath My Clothes

Chapter 4

It doesn't matter...nothing matters. Nobody can hurt me, because im in my box. This box that only I know of. This box In where there is everything I like and want and nothing that I don't. I wouldn't say I'm trapped in here, but....I just don't want to come out. Here, there is nature everywhere, and beautiful rivers and streams. Here there is no violence, here there is no sadness, here there is no jealousy. This place is perfect. This is my box. I'll never get hurt here, because im alone, but even though I'm alone, it doesn't matter. I don't need anybody.....I don't need any friends. Any friends that I will soon forget though the conscience of time. That I will fight with and that will make jealousy consume of me.Here is where I want to die, in my box, where nobody can hurt me and nobody can spread rumors. Here where you can't shed tears and where I'm always surrounded by warmth. So no...nothing matteres, as long as nobody comes in, nor takes me out.

Why...why does my head hurt so much? Why is it so cold here? Wh...why am I in a hospital? Who is this person on the chair across the room? My mind...my mind filled with questions that I can't ask. My ears, my ears awaiting these answers that I already know. I'm so thirsty. My mouth is so dry. I can't be kept here on this bed, I want to stretch and walk.

"Ummm, excuse me......miss." An unclear voice that I've never heard before, was it the guy who was sitting on the chair, was he talking to me?

I turn to face him, "yes," when did he even wake up?

"I'll call the doctor in, tell him that you've woken up." He said as he left outside of the room.

I remembered, all of it. Yes, yes...my ex husband. My second job that nobody knew about. The pain in my chest I felt...yesterday? What time was it, what day? "Wow," I thought "the pain I felt wasn't just some sort of illusion." The more I remembered the more it grew. The pain...in my chest. But I thought that it had stopped? A tear, after another and after another, slowly Rowling down my cheek. I was loosing it slowly. So sudden, it was all so sudden. I started imaging all of it and my head, no..my heart couldn't take it anymore.

"No! No! I want to go back! I want to go back to my room, I won't stay here any longer, I can't." I get up and detach anything that was attached on me in the first place. I walk and I see it. I see the exit. Heading right towards it still weak and unable to walk correctly I force myself.

"Hey....hey! Stop!" A voice yelling after me which I didn't care about, and then....a man standing in front of me which I didn't know. I won't get beat, I'll make it there. The man he was covering the exit, but why..I didn't know him. I pushed him out of the way with the little force I had in my hands, or at least I tried but it didn't work.

"Get out of my way, I'm going home." I said but he just stood there. I looked up to look him in the eyes and somehow they felt worm. How I had only just met him today, he was the man I saw sitting down in my room.

"Your not stable, let's go back to your room.
"No, I'm leaving."
"Are you sure that's the way your gonna play." Play? What was he talking about, play what? Anyway it's not as if I cared I just wanted to go home. I push once more, but this time I wasn't touching the floor any more. I was in his arms, in arms of a stranger carrying me to the room In where I felt so depressed in. He was carrying me, but...why, why does he care this much about me?