Do you believe in love after death?

Chapter 4

After we finished our food we left McDonalds laughing about good times in the diner we got on his bike and he drove me back to my flat.
"I had a lot of fun today, thank you" i said to Hunter smiling into his amazing blue eyes.
"So did i, maybe we should do this again sometime" Hunter says to me hopefully with a sparkle in his eyes. Wait is he trying to ask me on a date, no he wouldn't he really likes someone maybe even loves her. I'm not good enough to have someone love me or that's what i remember my mum always screaming at me.
"Luna?, Luna? are you okay?" i hear a panicked Hunter talking to me.
"Huh, yeah sorry I'm fine i just spaced out for a second, maybe we could do this again but isn't it weird for a boss to be seen out in public with his employee" I said unsure about whether or not it was a good idea. He looked at me with a determined expression on his face and walking closer to me backing me into my flat door.
"I don't care how weird it is, i really like you and i want to be with you. And when i feel this passionately about someone. I have loved you for a very long time and I'll be damned if i let some other random guy have you. One day you'll be completely mine when i earn your love then you will be my wife, the mother of my children and my entire world. How does that sound to you?" he says all this looking deeply into my eyes so i can tell he isn't lying to me. This cant be happening he only loves the person he see's he'll never love me if he knew my past, he'll never love someone who was murdered by their own parent only to somehow survive and be a complete freak of nature.
"You cant love me you know nothing about me or my life I'm just your employee" i say breathlessly i cant breath this is to much to take in i cant handle it.
"We can get to know each other better while dating, please give me a chance to show you how much i love you, don't reject me so quickly just give me a chance. Please I'm begging you." he says desperately. I feel tears come to my eyes it feel strange i haven't cried in years he's already changing me i'm not aloud to let myself feel like this.
"You don't understand" i say crying "i'm a freak i shouldn't exist i shouldn't even be alive, there are so many things from my past you would just not understand." i'm in tears after i say that i really want to believe that he's gonna love me no matter what but i just cant risk it.
"I don't care whats in your past or that your silly enough to believe that your a freak. I will prove to you i don't care about your past and when you finally tell me i will accept everything you tell me and my feelings for you will never change. I love you so fucking much and you'll understand that soon too" he says then he gives passionate kiss that holds so much love in it, it makes my crying worse, when he stops he places his forehead on mine and  my face between is huge hands gently.
"When we're together the only tears you'll be crying are happy ones" that's the last thing he says before leaving and going to his home. After open my door and walk through it i close it and slide my back down it tears streaming down my face.
Why didn't i just stay dead i would never had to suffer this then for fucks sake why!