Purely Accidental {Larry Stylinson AU}

Chapter 12.

I watched Louis shift in the sand beside me and lay down on his back, hands behind his head to rest on. His biceps were hard not to notice, even without having to flex them, they made him so goddamn fit. Like some bad boy image, in fact, his appearance changed slightly over the summer, especially after the breakup. With his tattoos, that increased the likely chance of him catching me in the act of staring. I shook my curls and pushed them aside to distract myself as I waited for him to speak.

"You know how people seem to have a perfect, detailed image of their ideal person that they long to be with?"

I stayed in the position I was, and mindlessly began doodling in the sand with my fingers. "Mhm, what about it?"

"I'm just not one of those people. I'd rather stick to my gut, and go with what my heart feels. Whenever my heart feels that pang... that overwhelming, tingly feeling. Now that is when I'll know for sure I've found the right one for me." He described his thoughts on the matter with enthusiasm, occasionally looking directly at me which seemed like he was having a conversation with the faint blue sky instead. "Have you ever had that feeling yet?"

I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond. I wanted to tell him that's on point about how I felt whenever he was around. Just like the moment I first saw him, he stood there all beautiful and fit: there was also something different; a vibe where I knew there was something unique about him in general. Like no one else and nothing else mattered than getting to know the older lad. But I resisted the urge to confess this.

"Not sure." That's all you can say? My conscience forced me to say more. "I guess I haven't found the right guy yet."

A short moment of silence filled the air as I realized that we actually haven't said aloud either of our sexual orientations to each other yet, and though I've been out as gay for awhile now and I've been comfortable talking about that part of myself, it just never came up in conversation between us before-- until now that is.

Louis' eyes widened a little processing what I said but his expression soon softened into a small smile. 

"I'm sure you will soon."

Okay, cool that went well. He seemed to react alright to my subtle slip of directly telling him I'm gay. I was more worried that he'd catch on that he's the guy I like.

"Just like I know I'll find the right girl... or guy."

I almost choke my own spit but remained calm as I could to suppress my shock. Now THAT wasn't what I was expecting. This whole time I didn't want to flat out assume or ask him directly... maybe I was just scared to know. But now I know: he really is bisexual. So I actually do have a chance to be with him, then?

"How do you decide when you know you've found a guy that you fancy, then?" He asks, shifting the conversation to know what I had to say about the matter instead.

I struggle to refocus my thoughts to answer him while processing that sudden truth bomb he dropped on me. "Hmm... well..."

I let out a heavy sigh, and folded my hands together around my knees, and I decide to answer truthfully. 

"Like you said, your heart feels overwhelmed when you see them. There's nothing more to it. When you find that special someone, you don't just decide. You simply know. Like the little voice inside your head whispered, 'where have you been my life?' Aside the physical attraction, once you get to know someone, you start to pick out the things and the acts they do that you find cute or whatever, and then soon enough, you adore them as a whole. Even when you didn't expect to, you can't help who you fall in love with."

"Wow, that was beautiful. Usually when I ask people the same thing, they shrug and give a simple answer. But you? You're quite something." Louis commented, directed himself toward me, putting his elbow on the towel and resting his right cheek on his hand. I chuckle nervously, and glance down bashfully, avoiding his gaze. "Seems like you have felt that way before."