Hold On (COMPLETED)

Chapter 11

A/N: first of all: I'm sorry for not updating the other day.
Second of all: I might take the story off of hold under one condition; you guys have to tell me when you want me to update.
Third of all: warning! There is self harm in this chapter, along with a lot of curse words.

~Time skip to when they go home~

Isabella's pov

(July 27th 2015)

We're going home today! I'm not sure if I'm happy or not. I mean we're going home and I miss Mason. Not to mention I want to get away from Sam. No we haven't made up yet. Most people would find that stupid but I don't care. You can believe what you want and I'll believe what I want. She slept, at 13 years old, with a boy. Not only did she sleep with a boy, but she knew I like him! It's so unfair. I haven't really talked to anyone, more like just kept my mouth shut.

We got off the boat and into our cars. My brothers have been trying to get me to talk to them all day but I don't wanna talk to anyone. It's not just my brothers I don't wanna talk about. The only person I want is mum. I miss her. I don't get why she had to leave me. I mean I get she's dead but why did she have to leave? It wasn't her time. She was only 40 years old!

As The car stopped I realized we were already home. Home.... To me, not even a month ago, my home was a few hours away. I never imagined my home would be here. With my brothers. Alone.

I sighed, getting out of the car. I walked away and in the house. "Belle!" I heard one of the boys yell. "What?" I snapped. I turned around, folding my arms over my chest. "First of all watch your tone. Second of all I don't know what your problem is lately but get your head on straight! You're driving me nuts!" Cole yelled. I rolled my eyes. "My problem? My problem is I'm stuck in this hell with you guys! My best friend slept with a boy I liked! And worst of all...." I stopped as all the boys were now looking at me. "My fucking mother is dead!" I yelled. I ran away and in my bedroom.

I slammed the door and locked it. Sometimes I swear I can kill myself. Walking over to the bathroom, I locked both doors. I grabbed my razor and sat in the shower. I turned on the water as I dug the sharp blade in my skin. I watched as the blood fell down my arm. It wouldn't be my first time doing this. When I was still with mum we kept getting in fights and I finally got tiered.

Flashback

"I can't believe you actually believe him over me!" I yelled at my mother. She invited her boyfriend over and he slapped me and said something to my mum. Apparently he said I called him an asshole and he did it out of anger. I did none of that but apparently my mum believe's him. "He just slapped me! He's drunk!" I yelled again. She rolled her eyes. "Ya because he drinks!" She yelled. "Well apparently you don't spend enough time with your own fucking boyfriend or in your own home!" I yelled.

I ran upstairs, ignoring her calls to come back. I walked over in my bathroom, grabbing my razor. I turned the water on as I stripped to my underwear and bra and looked in the mirror. Discuss. It was the only emotion. No sadness, no happiness, nothing. A few minutes later, after looking at myself I could feel anger. Not at my mom or her boyfriend. The madness was towards myself. The fact that I looked like this got me mad. I sat in the now filled bath, turning off the water.

I couldn't stop myself, pressing the blade into my skin. And it was the feeling that made me continue. What feeling was unknown but it was something. Was it the feeling of the blood, running down my arm? The burning sensation of the blade cutting my skin? The feeling of anger I held towards myself? The feeling of discuss when I saw my body in the full length mirror? Or, the feeling I had that nobody cared?

"Isabella! Get your ass out here this minute!" I heard mum yell. I could hear everything as my eyes started to drop. I could hear but my vision started to blur. "Isabella! Wait till I get my hands on you." Mum yelled. With the amount of energy I had, I managed to look at the time; 2:30. I have been in here for an hour now. Mum must have drank, making her drunk. Then it clicked: it's the feeling I had when I could barely see, breath and talk. Because no mater how much I told myself I was worth it; I knew I was lying to myself.

Flashback over

I gasped as I felt tears fall on my bloody arm, landing on my cut. It burned like hell but I managed to deal with it. When I figured I had enough, I got out, rinsing my arm. It hurt just like the tear. I wrapped my arm up and rinsed off the floor of the shower. When I was done I unlocked the doors and walked into my room. I changed since my clothes were filled with blood. I put on a sweater and leggings.

Hopping on my bed, I grabbed my laptop. I started watching old MagCon videos. They helped me through a lot. Even though they've been over for a while I heard they were going back on tour. If so I really hope I'll be able to go. The only thing that sucks is I doubt Shawn will be there. But I love them all anyway, and I'm so proud of Shawn.

I put on music because it was so quiet without it. "Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! You know I need somebody! Help!" Help by the Beatles came on and I sang softly. I sighed, thinking about the day my mom told me she liked my singing.

Flashback

I walked in the kitchen to get some cereal wen I heard the song Dracula by Bea Miller. It's one of my favourite songs so I started singing along.

Play 'Dracula'

I was too busy signing to see that my mother was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. That's wen I heard clapping behind me and I turned around almost as fast as Lightning. "Did you hear the hole thing?" I ask taking the cereal out of the cupboard. "Ya you have a good voice." she stated. "Thanks" I said going to the dinning table to eat my cereal.

Flashback over

I shut my laptop off and put my phone, with the music playing, to the side. "I miss you."