Stupid Fate

Wally's five when he first hears about soulmates in a princess movie. The blond prince saves the blond princess from spending eternity locked away in a tower, they kiss, they get married and grow old together; it's very boring.

When he's eight, he realizes things in real life aren't that simple. His parents are together and have been for ten years now, but they're not aging, and they're not happy.

When he's ten, he moves in with his aunt and her boyfriend of two years. His parents are getting a divorce and can't deal with him, on top of all they're going through. It's not supposed to be a permanent thing.

He's twelve and he knows it's a permanent thing because aunt Iris and uncle Barry just formally adopted him, but he doesn't care about that anymore. Wally doesn't think about it at all because his uncle is The Flash and he's Kid Flash. They're heroes and they help people and just last week Wally met Robin, the boy wonder, and he's amazing. The meeting only lasted for less than an hour because Batman showed up and he's terrifying, but Wally can tell that he and Robin are going to be the best of friends.

He's fifteen and he has a team, an actual superhero team with superhero teammates and a superhero hide-out. Plus, he is best friends with Robin. His life is sweet.

He's fifteen and two months old when Robin takes off his mask and tells him his real name. Also, he's in a hospital, with a bullet wound on his chest and a mild concussion after a mission gone wrong, but it still manages to be the best day of his life. Robin, - no not Robin. Dick. Dick Grayson. Holy shit, his best friend is Dick Grayson, - actually scoffs and pets his hair when Wally tells him that.

He's fifteen and eleven months old when Dick takes him to his parent's graves. Dick is quiet the whole time, while Wally introduces himself. Wally talks about the first time he met Dick and their first mission and how proud they must be of their son. Dick's grip on his hand only gets stronger, but he doesn't say anything, he doesn't cry.

He's sixteen the first time he dies. Well, he doesn't really die because it was all a simulation build to teach them about failure, but he didn't know that at the time and neither did Dick. He remembers looking at Dick's eyes and holding him and being so very scared.

He's sixteen when the dreams start. It's actually the same dream over and over again. It's the failsafe simulation and he relives everything from his uncle and aunt's deaths, to his teammates', to him and Robin waiting for that ship to blow away with no ways of getting out, but the dreams last longer than the simulation did, just a few seconds longer and he gets to kiss Dick before everything explodes. Sometimes Dick has the time to kiss him back and he dies happy. He knows he should talk to Black Canary about the dreams because it's wrong and it's sick and he needs them to stop before he ruins his friendship with Dick, but he doesn't. He can't. He buries it in and pretends it never happened, because it's easier this way.

He's seventeen when Dick asks him about soulmates. Wally explains to him the science behind it, explains all the hormones and biofactors and the chemistry involved in aging. It takes almost three hours and when Wally's done with his rant, he asks Dick what he thinks about it. Dick shrugs and says that he likes the idea, that it's nice. Wally stares at him the entire day and thinks about kissing him and holding his hands and cuddling him to sleep and thinks that, - what the hell, - maybe it could be nice.

He's seventeen and a half when he comes to the Wayne Manor to play videogames with Dick and he realizes Bruce is aging. It's subtle, but it's there, and he asks Dick in hushed tones because guess who has never overgrown his fear of the Batman? Dick says Bruce refuses to talk about it, and shows Wally a list he's made with a few possible candidates. There's two supervillains names in there and Wally remembers that having a soulmate isn't equal to being happy. It's far more complicated than that. That's up to fate and fate can be cruel and ironic and the farthest thing from nice.

He's eighteen when he starts actively researching soulmates, he reads reports, and watches documentaries about it, looking for something to scientifically explain it, looking for something that can be analyzed in a blood test, he's looking for anything to tell him that it's okay and not creepy at all to be crushing hard on his best friend. That these feelings are okay and going to be reciprocated one day and that Dick will still laugh at his dumb jokes when they're sixty. He needs to know if Dick will find him disgusting and sick and never want to see him again, and feels his heart break with only the thought of it. He searches and searches again, but no one has an answer, not even Aunt Iris and she's the one that has the most to offer. It's a feeling, she says, it's a feeling you get when you look at the other person. You just look at them and you feel serene, you feel complete, and happy.

And, truth be told, when Wally looks at his aunt and uncle together, it isn't hard to believe they're soulmates. But it doesn't mean Wally's going to be as lucky as they are; even if he starts aging from now on, it doesn't mean that Dick is his soulmate or that he is Dick's. There's no way of knowing.

He's nineteen when he confesses. He makes sure Dick's sleeping and can't hear him, though. But saying it makes him realize that, just because he wants Dick to be his soulmate, - just because looking at Dick's smile hurts and it's a good kind of hurt that overwhelms him and makes him believe that everything in the world is worthwhile, - it doesn't mean that he is, and pretending to love Dick less than he actually does is killing him. Wally quits the team.

He's twenty and it's been almost an year since Dick's talked to him. His absence hurts just as much as his presence, and Wally doesn't know what to do anymore. He looks at the mirror and he can't tell if he's aging or not.

He's twenty one when he dies for the second time. He runs the fastest he can, he runs with Barry and Bart, but all the energy needs an escape valve and he's it. He knows this time it's for real, that he'll die to save the world and all the people he cares about. He's not scared anymore. He's just... He's sad. He thinks about Dick and it's sad that they'll never even get the chance to grow old together.

He doesn't know how old he is when he comes back. It's been three years, his uncle tells him. Three years since the Reach Invasion and the crysalid, but he didn't feel the passage of time. He remembers running, running and never getting anywhere, running until he couldn't anymore, then getting up and running again, running until a door opened in the darkness and brought him back to light. Maybe he was somewhere time passed differently or somewhere time didn't pass at all, Barry has a lot of theories, but it doesn't really matter.

Dick goes to visit him three days after he got back. He bursts through the door running and panting, and mumbling incoherent things about the time machine he was working on and that he never ever gave up. When Dick finally takes off the Nightwing mask, he looks tired. Dick looks old. Wally feels old. But, at the same time, he also feels young and serene and complete and so very happy.

Wally kisses him, right then and there and Dick doesn't waste any time kissing him back. It's hungry and desperate and suddenly they're both crying.

"So." Wally calls him, his voice breaking with the sudden realization he's been incredibly stupid all these years. They're soulmates. The way Wally's chest seems to be about to burst with how much he loves his best friend is proof number one. The fact that Dick loves him and currently is telling him, between tiny wet kisses, how much he loves him is proof number two. They're soulmates and they're going to grow old together because they want to, because they've chose to and no one can stop them. Not even fate. "It's been three years, are you seeing anyone or...?"

Dick doesn't answer, he just kisses him again, and again, and again, and forever.

He's twenty-six (seven? eight? nine?) when Dick calls him his soulmate. It's in their wedding vows and they both start laughing so hard they almost ruin the entire ceremony. Almost.

Wally's sixty-ish and Dick still laughs at his dumb jokes.