I Will Live

The moment of bitterness

like a sting of a needle

this growing pain,

it's as if it's bound by endless time.

Yesterday was a horror, that taunted me to go on,

Today, the snakes viper gains its chocking hold,

Tomorrow, is so cloudy, it's to hazy to see.

Who knows if it really exists?

From what I can see; fangs are bared,traps are laid, the roads are demolished, and I am left in pain.

Lonely. Lost , Grieving.

I have lost my sense in achieving. 

"Go on" two small words, yet so powerful that they might be two other worlds.

A heart that was standing at the tip of the peak, was brought down, shattering, my an unmerciful avalanche. 

A piercing cry, my heart!

After a flood of burning tears, a cry once so vibrant and clear, 

is now silent.

Who could understand my pain? 

"That's life" and what do you think I would gain from those words?

My time is slowly ticking yet so is everyone else's.

My life, what was slowly forming, filled with few precious moments of happiness,

is now splattered with such dark stains, 

who knows if those times of happiness have truly come to pass?

Where is my hope? Where do I search?

I was once strong yet now, not so

I was once brave and fearless, yet now, I don't know.

Can this tide ever be overturned?

Right now I'm a broken puzzle, whose pieces have been broken into pieces.

I am but a dove whose wings have been torn off by hate.

Like a crown whose centered piece is missing.

What am I to do now?

The numbness within me is growing while the bitterness remains.

Do I dare "Go on"?

Do I dare step back into the light, that has once shunned me?

Do I dare go out and face the same people yet

with a different me?

Do I dare?

Do I dare go back into the world knowing, that everything might repeat itself?

Looking at my sorrows and looking back at who caused them,

they don't deserve to do this to me.

Shall I give pleasure to my oppressors, letting them know that

they have broken me? 

Who has the right to decide who will fall and who shall stand?

By my life and what's left of it,

Clearly, not them.

Not my oppressors nor the onlookers,

Not my friends nor my foes,

Not them judges and not them courts, no.

No matter if my wings are seared, my eyesight lost, my voice unheard, I will decide.

No matter how much pain, struggles, or fears, I will decide.

No matter the threats, the knives, the horrors,the shame, the guilt, I will decide.

And even if this whole episode repeats,

I will decide and

I Will Live.

Thank you everyone for reading, I hope no one got to over emotional but if so then that's ok because believe it or not there are people who go through these kinds of feelings every day and they struggle to find a reason to continue, If you know such a person like this, the best thing you can do is be there for them, make the time and effort to acknowledge their feelings and emotions, they need to let it out.

And to those of you who are going through this and have no one to really on, thank god we have internet. Find someone who is going through the same struggles as you and help each other out. Express yourself, whether it's through a story or how ever and people will comment and let you know how they felt when you were going through these emotions.

Thank you once again everyone for reading and I hope this gives you courage for any further event in our lives.