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Story #2

Story #2: serenityrose01
My name is Serenity. I'm a pessimist and a wallflower. Life is okay for the most part, but it's been pretty rough. It is a miracle that I'm even alive, because my mother wasn't ever supposed to have children. On top of that I have depression and I used to cut. I am kind of a perfectionist and have high anxiety and stress. Honestly, most days it feels like a battle just to get through. My parents and I get in fights a lot and they put me in therapy. The last time I was in therapy (last year) I just lied about mostly everything trying to get put of going to therapy. This time around I've told some truths but never given the whole truth. I have trust issues but once I've known someone a while I'm too trusting of them. I want to tell my therapist everything but I don't want my parents to know a lot of it and I don't want to get anyone else in trouble. My therapist doesn't really think my depression is to bad because I haven't told her much and she just wants to work on my anxiety and stress. Last year, my parents sent me to therapy for depression and our family not getting along. This time, I think they think I might be suicidal but they are definitely worried about me. I have tried to deal with my depression on my own each time, but it feels impossible and my parents sending me to therapy doesn't seem to be helping. I first realized I had depression in the seventh grade and it kept getting worse to the point where I started cutting in eighth grade. In seventh grade, MyKingdomCome tried to help me, by talking to me and getting me to express what I was feeling. I tried to help her as well but I think I only made it worse. I like to help people with what they are going through and I am usually a therapist for my friends, giving them advice for their problems and just being someone to talk to. That year, a lot of people died in my life. Add depression, anxiety, and stress to that and pretty much it was just a really bad year. On top of that my grades were pretty bad and they started slipping only causing more problems in my life. In eighth grade, I lost a lot of the friends I'd made the year before. I missed the people in my life that had died, a few were kind of like my support system. It felt like there was always some sort of argument between my friends and I. A couple weeks or so after school started, I begun getting to get to know a kid named Patrick. He was a lot like me, he had depression, he was cutting, he had family problems, and more. I got to know him for all that and more. He was funny, sweet, and a surprisingly great guy. We helped each other through a lot of what happened that year. He helped me to stop cutting and my depression and I helped him with his girlfriend problems, cutting, and depression. He "got better" faster than me and we kinda stopped talking as the year went on. My only two friends were really just MyKingdomCome and JazzyAngelXD. It was hard not being able to talk to Patrick. He was my support system, along with my other two best friends, but there's something different about having someone who's been through it all help you. This year, ninth grade, I really only talk to my best friends. Patrick and my friends from where I used to live give me near radio silence. I miss them so much. I want to talk to them but I'm so shy. I still have depression, but I stopped cutting around the end of the school year. A kid tried to kill himself, this year and I felt like I should've helped him before he did that. He is still alive but it made me realize we can't save everyone and that we have to live in every moment we are given. We can try to help people but won't always save them. My grades in school are decent but not how I'd like them to be. I get stress and anxiety from school and my family life. But I'm trying to get through each day and not lose sight of where I want to be.