The War of the Unwilling Hearts (Harry Potter fanfic [Viktor Krum])

Pray Tell

My return to Durmstrang was bittersweet. It was academic and therefore a place I strived but there was no Viktor and plenty of people asking me about anything I had knowledge of.

"The tournament; how was the tournament?"

"Frightening." I admit.

"Was it really?"

"Yes. Cedric Diggory was killed. I think it safe to say that it was rather frightening all in all."

"And you and Krum?" A girl I've never seen before wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"That's none of your business." I purse my lips, standing from my place at the table and walking out to the grounds hoping to find a secluded place.  But Petar finds me.

"So you and Viktor?" He says open-endedly.

"You too?" I scoff.

"It's just that the last time I saw you, you were on the verge of cursing him." He explains.

"And I came close many times after that." I slump against a boulder and pull out a book.

"Now you're his girlfriend?" He said with unconcealed confusion.

"I am."

"How does that work?" He scratches his head and I huff.

"Carefully, like everything else in the damn world; with a lot of attention and a fair amount of frustrations. Was there anything else?"

"Yeah how are you doing?" He smiles crookedly.

"Currently? I'd rather bash everyone's face in and go home than be here right now." I clench my jaw tight. "A boy died and everyone here couldn't care less. They brought him into the tent cold and rigid and I was in there. I watch his lifeless eyes as they peered beyond their seeing into realms we cannot , in our greatest powers, see. And your all concerned with knowing the tournaments thrills."

"Did you hate it that much?"

"Every bit." I say tight-lipped.

"I'm still your friend." Petar's words are biting in tone.

"Are you? Is anyone my friend here after I've linked up with Viktor?"

"I don't give a damn about Viktor or how you're involved with him." Petar snaps. "Sorry." I stood to be closer to eye level with him.

"Before I left you told me that I was something you had to be brave for, to fight for, but you can't fight for me anymore."

"Being brave for you has been the greatest thing I've done in my life." Petar's soft eyes search mine. "I know that if you're with Viktor, I'll never have a chance because I know how difficult it must have been to get where you are now. To be so vehemently opposed to him and then come back after a year and profess your iron clad love for him."

"Nothing is iron clad. Love is not tangible." I turn away to shove the book back in my bag. "Losing Viktor after all this would shatter my bones and tear my heart into too many pieces." Talking about VIktor puts that all too familiar tension in my throat and sting behind my eyes. "Now what kind of person would it make me to be your friend when I can't love you that way."

"I don't need you to love me like that." Petar cups my face in his hands. "Just be Milena. I don't need Viktor's girlfriend. I need my Milena because my Milena forgave me for my mistake. I'm not that idiot anymore. So please, just a smile. Merlin bring the moment of laughter after one of your witty remarks. Please?" I nod solemnly and back away so that his hand falls back to his side.

"Maybe but I'm still trying to figure things out. I've lost that comfort and it's hard to tell what's fact and what's illusion." I take five steps back toward the castle before turning to Petar again. "You know what's funny?"

"Hmm?"

"Before Viktor broke everything I knew, I could never be so vulnerable. I feel like an open wound and I've got to heal myself the proper way to accommodate all these new things." I sigh." I don't think I could have loved anybody."

"I don't think it would have mattered." Petar half smiles. "Any man would have loved you enough for you both." I walk to the castle without responding. Petar's notion was ridiculous. No one could love enough to keep two people happy.

__

I recieved an owl from Viktor every week and he was never short on things to tell me. His sister wanted to meet me over winter holiday and his mom was getting anxious with him and I.

When winter did arrive I still hadn't talked much with Petar besides cordial conversations and in class discussions. He had become good friends with Laura in my absence and since I spent my leisure time with her it was inevitably spent with him.

__

"What are you doing for holidays?" Laura asked lighting the hearth in our tent. It was something she'd forgotten in her trunk from the summer and Karkaroff gave us permission to set it up near the far shore where no one really went. Petar handed out furs as the sea breeze became too cold for our comparatively thin coats.

"I'll be going to Viktor's straight off the ship and then he'll be coming home with me for Christmas." I shift uncomfortably.

"There's sitting cushions in the bedroom." Laura tells me and I get up to get a few.

"Milena!?" I hear a voice call for me.

"Viktor?" I whisper thinking that I'd gone crazy but a hand jets through the entrance flaps and pulls them back to show Viktor in grey fur lined robes. I jump up and collide into him like he was something that I'd lost. "Why are you here? The ships leave in the morning."

"I couldn't vait." I kiss him. Petar and Laura clear their throats, snapping our attention to them. From the corner of my eye I can see the contemptuous look Viktor gives Petar. "I hope your things are ready." Viktor turns to me.

"They are." I nod. 

"Then vee should go."

"But I'm with my friends." I furrow my brow.

"You rather stay here?" Viktor squints his eyes at me.

"For now. We have time."

"And I'm supposed to just vait here." He sneers.

"She does a hell of a lot of waiting for you." Petar comments. I shoot Petar a glare a put my attention back on Viktor.

"Just for a little bit. I can't just walk out like that. It's rude."

"Go on, not like we wouldn't be used to it." Petar says bitterly. Before I can think of what to say Viktor's got Petar by the collar.

"Viktor, stop it." I demand. "You're being stupid. Now let him go." Viktor takes a deep breath and drops Petar to the ground.

"So she's got you trained." Petar chuckles. I see ever muscle in Viktor's body tense but he doesn't do anything.

"We can go." I place a gentle hand on Viktor's chest. "I'll write you if I can." I tell Laura and guide Viktor from the tent. "What's gotten into you?" I hiss as soon as we're out of earshot.

"Vi vere you vith him?" Viktor questions me.

"He's good friends with Laura. I've already talked to him about us and haven't done much else but defend myself and you for that matter. And if you were interested enough to trust me you'd know that." I free myself from his grasp and stuff my hand into my pockets. "We should get my trunk before it gets too late."

Viktor says very little the rest of the night. He helps me lug my trunk to Karkaroff's office where we travel via the floo network to his house. He shows me to the room I was to be staying in and I offer him a cold 'good night' before he leaves.

Who was I to reprimand Viktor on his lack of trust? It was beyond trust though. The way he barged into the tent and demanded those things of me made me feel weak and compliant; brainless even.

Sometimes I thought that Viktor and I were more a field of frustrations than the wonder people had when they spoke of love. Sometimes it felt like I took more care than he did.