Justice and Crime

Chapter 2

I stepped into the trendy bar under the din of a 50 different conversations. The dim lights of the bar bathed Neal in a yellow glow, who sat a drink in hand, looking deep in thought. His dark flopped in his face and his sharp jaw pointed down. His expensive looking suit from this morning had been replaced by a dark button down. I walked across the bar and slid into the seat on Neal's right.
"You look like you're plotting world domination," I teased as Neal's eyes met my own.
"Something like that. How has your day been?" he smiled.
"Well since this morning, pretty normal. And yours?" 
   "I met this other girl after three years. She had tripped getting onto the subway. Small world," his voice raised, sarcastically.
"Very funny, could she send you to jail too?"
"Speaking of jail, what made you decide to be a prosecutor?"
"Going in with the big guns, I have questions too you know," I frowned in protest.
"We each ask three questions. Only rule is that we have to answer," Neal replied. I thought about his proposition.
"Alright, I ask first. What landed you in jail and eventually working with Peter?"
"That's two questions."
"Just answer it."
"I was forging bonds trying to make money. While working on other things I let my guard down and got caught. After a while I got tired of running. Peter cut me a deal. I helped him solve a case and in return I got my lovely anklet." He glanced down at the floor to motion to his anklet. "Sometimes I'm glad I got caught because then I would of never stopped."
Neal's shortened version seemed to leave out a few details, but I brushed it off.
"So," Neal seemed to snap out of a daze. "Why do you live in New York?"
A relatively easy question. "Ever since I was a kid New York always fascinated me. I'm from Portland and we had a city, but nothing compared to New York. The first time I went I was 15 and it was the middle of the summer. We saw most of the city on one of those tourist buses and matter how hot and crazy it was I loved it even more. Everyone seemed to be on their own mission and doing their own thing. Anyway, after college at UCLA, I applied to Columbia Law School and I got in. That was probably the best moment of my whole life, then after law school I wanted to stay in New York and become a prosecutor."
"It's crazy to me how you figured out where you wanted to end up at such a young age. I don't think I ever thought of things like that."
    "That's just how I've always been," I smiled. It was time for my next question. I was confused on how Neal could just get caught, without some week long manhunt. Then it came to me.
"Who was the girl?"
"What girl?" His gaze sharpened out of confusement and a little discomfort.
"From what I've gathered, you don't seem like the type of person to just 'let your guard down.'" Neal stiffened and looked distant again. I feared I had uncovered some traumatic detail and quickly changed the subject, "I mean you don't have to answer that. There's other things I want to know."
"No, it's just." He trailed off. "Her name was Kate, she died about a year ago. She was the love of my life and I feel partially responsible for her death. She died in an explosion that was meant to kill me. The worst part is the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I could have done something." Neal looked up at me with an empty gaze. I had brought up something obviously touchy and shifted the tone of our conversation.
"I'm so sorry, but I'm sure a lot of people have told you that. You want to remember them because they were so important to you and everyday you feel like they are slipping away more and more," I spoke solemnly.
    "I feel like I have finally accepted that she's gone. I just don't want to forget her."
There was a heavy pause between our conversation.
"Tell me, why you decide to be a prosecutor?" Neal changed the subject and I didn't blame him.
"I have always read books about serial killers and murderers. These horrible crimes that were committed against innocent people. That struck something within me. I wanted to be the one that sent criminals to jail, but I didn't want to face them with a gun. I guess I can attribute this to a yearning for justice and make our country a safer place. I like to think I am doing this country better and putting away the people who deserve it."
    "So you never considered going into the FBI? You seem good at deductive reasoning," he smirked.
"No I considered it, but ultimately I didn't want to do a job of complete bureaucracy and put my life on the line everyday."
"What makes you want to con and commit crime?"
"What makes someone take drugs. It's a high that I grew accustomed to young."
"So you can't tell the difference between what's right and wrong?"
"Working with Peter , I feel, has changed the way I see things. I used to regard the feds and police as evil and the ones to be fighting against. I don't necessarily believe in everything they do, but they change lives and make our country a better place," he paused briefly to collect his thoughts. "The con is a part of my life because I made it so. Even though I try to reform myself, that can not change how I acted in the past."
"So do you attribute Peter as being the root of your changed ways?"
"Yes. He showed me what being truly cared about is like and gave me a sense of family. I thought running was the best way to get away from my problems. I have something I never had before and that is what truly changed me."
It was always so easy for me to think of criminals as all bad. That's what made it easier to prosecute. Neal's carefully crafted sentences and vast knowledge made me think otherwise.  On top of that his charming and handsome aura made me rethink any judgments I had made this morning.
"I used to think of crime as a black or white thing. Many of my college professors taught this view of crime being good or evil, guilty or innocent. It's things like this that influence me to change my views and not every crime that is committed is done out of pure evil. And you still have one more more question for me."
Neal pondered it for a moment, "Does the fact I'm a criminal make you dislike me?"
"No. Even though you did break the law in the past I believe justice is being served. Neal, you are doing more things that benefit society working with Peter than most U.S. citizens do in a lifetime. For some it is hard to look past what you did, but if you say you can change your ways, I believe you can as well."
"How can you say that with such confidence? You barely even know me."
"You present yourself as such an intelligent and good person it creates a feeling of trust, even though I barely know you. If you are lying about being a changed person, which I have seen many of times, you're damn good at it. But I think that deep down you want change and you should be given the chance."
His gaze softened after our austere conversation. We moved onto lighter subjects such as arts and interests. The night was finally winding down we got up to leave.
As we stepped onto the bustling sidewalk Neal caught my hand. I froze at his unfamiliar touch. Sensing my change in emotion he dropped it.
"I had fun tonight, Alexa. You are an amazing woman and I would like to get to know you better."
"Are we going to exchange numbers now like a couple of high schoolers?" I smirked.
"I mean if you want to go to prom together, we could do that too," he chuckled.
I handed him my phone and quickly typed in my number. I tried to tell myself it would never work out and be completely against the ethics my job put in place, but as I walked away from the bar I couldn't help notice that inclination of my mind to wander to Neal Caffrey.