Rabidity (Jane Loft-series #1)

Chapter 20

The way to the hospital is in one word hellish. Everywhere you look you see the black dust covering trees, the ground and wounded Macarians, dead Macarians.

My breathing is quick and shallow. I try to move my fingers, toes, lips, anything, but my body isn't listening to my brains anymore. I don't want to be carried to the hospital – I want to help with carrying the wounded people there, just like Trevor's doing with me right now.

"It's going to be alright," Trevor says every five seconds. I want to respond, I want to say my final words to him, telling him I love him. There's no chance this is going to be okay. Adam's dead and he's the only one who could tell us the name of whoever poisoned my bracelet or how to get it off without killing me, Summer is a traitor and many Macarians have died today. How is that going to be okay? "We're almost there, Jane. Hang on."

I don't see them, but I know my Circle and Lewis' friends are following us closely. They won't leave my side. Lewis is probably with Camille, just like Lunar, but Sloane is here nevertheless.

Phostius slams the door of the infirmary open and Trevor walks in after him, making sure I don't hit anything with my head. He lays me down on a bed and someone puts a wet towel on my forehead. I can't see who it is, because my vision is getting blurry, and this time not with tears. I'm losing my eyesight. The sounds around me are sounding far away, like I've been pushed underwater and it suddenly gets very hard to breathe.

I hear nor see what's happening, but I'm able to feel everything. Especially when two cold hands start fidgeting with my bracelet. I want to scream, cry, kick, bite, but I can't do anything. I feel how someone pulls the stone of the bracelet out of my wound and how I suddenly don't feel anything anymore. I stop breathing.

oO0Oo

I'm dead. I felt how the life left my body. Adam's dead, Camille's dead, Geroldus is dead, I'm dead. I'm happy I've died. That means I'll see my human parents from Zickenbridge again and James, my biological father. I will watch over my friends from above, together with Camille. Maybe we'll even become angel-friends. I'm happy I've died. It feels good not to feel anything anymore and I'm delighted I have not a single worry on my mind.

I'm happy.

But how can I be happy? I wasn't the most beloved person and I made a lot of mistakes, but I had people down there who cared about me. Fenna, Amelia, Reya, Jolene, Chase, Fang, Xavier, Trevor. Trevor. How can I be this selfish? I can't die! They need me – I need them! I have to get back. I have to live, even though that means I'll have to wait even longer to see mom and dad again. But that doesn't mind. I can't be happy here, not without my friends.

I have to get back.

oO0Oo

My first breath hurts. My second does, too. My third almost kills me again. I open my eyes and take my fourth breath. This time it's easier.

How is this possible? I felt how I died, I felt my body tumble into eternal darkness. How can I be alive?

I try to move my toes and to my utter delight, I can. I wiggle my toes for at least ten minutes before I realize I have also fingers and limbs that can be moved. I wiggle until I'm out of breath again and I try to sit up. I succeed.

"You've got to be kidding me," I say hoarsely as I look at my arm. The bracelet is gone. Well, the silver part and the stone, at least. I have an ugly scar that has the precise shape of the bracelet. It's bright pink and I wish I had a sleeve to pull over it, but I don't. I'm dressed in a comfy T-shirt that I don't know, but I recognize the smell. It's Xavier's. Why the hell would Xav give me his T-shirt? And then I see my reflection in the mirror.