Existential Crisis: My Life Contemplating Existence

A Little Introduction

Another day in a wasted life
Eyes welded to the past
Never going to look back
It's dark...out...side
Screaming all around me
No one hears a thing
The silence is too strong

Screams of passion
Ringing around me
Pretend it was sweet passion
It's actually hate
Darkness faking, sunshine fading
The silence is too strong

Screaming fire crackling through my veins
No pretending that it's okay
Singing smoke dancing inside my brain
Never pretending that it's okay
Fallen ashes at my feet
It'll never be okay, no, no

Another day done and gone
So few fortunes lost and won
Pretty lies and handsome frauds
Never knowing all along
Blissful ignorance
Brazen apathy
I don't know and I don't care... No, no

Screaming fire crackling through my veins
No pretending that it's okay
Singing smoke dancing inside my brain
Never pretending that it's okay
Fallen ashes at my feet
It'll never be okay, no, no

I can't live forever in a dream
Feathers burned from angel wings
Drag me around and bring me back to where I began
Why is this happening? What's it like to die?
I wanna know why I'm here
Cause I know nobody could ever love me

No, no

Screaming fire crackling through my veins
No pretending that it's okay
Singing smoke dancing inside my brain
Never pretending that it's okay
Fallen ashes at my feet
It'll never be okay, no, no

It's never been okay
It'll never be okay

Crisis done and gone
Screaming, howling, yelling, agony
It'll never be okay
~Living A Lie, a song of my own writing

My name is French Horn Rebel, but you can call me Frenchie. You should probably learn a bit about me before I tell you my innermost thoughts.

I've been having an existential crisis since I was in the third grade. That was when, for reasons that I still do not know, my best friend killed herself. Please don't ask me about it. I don't like talking about it.

I am in the second semester of my eighth grade year as I start this. I play the French Horn (as my name suggests), I am in GT and Pre-AP everything, and I have Asperger's Syndrome. If you don't know what that is, Google it. This is the 21st century.

Now that you somewhat know me, let us move on to the deep stuff. The existential stuff.

I'm warning you now, things are about to get intense.