The Stories They Tell

Pride

"But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy."

-Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

My heart is racing out of my chest as I step out of Xavier's car. He offered to take me along with him today to Pride today, but I didn't think it would be as big as this.

During High School there were only a few kids who were willing to join GSA along with Xavier and I, as it was strongly discouraged in our religious neighborhood. I was brave then, so why did I feel so much anticipation coming to a Pride festival? Everyone at school knew that I was Pansexual, and I had no problem telling anyone that asked me. But I still feel edgy meeting a bunch of unfamiliar people.

"Come on dude, we're going to be late." I hear from behind me. Xavier invited me to come along with him, and I didn't want to lose my guide amidst the crowd. "Hey, wait up!" I call after him.

I slam the car door, locking it, and running off towards the concessions which I last saw him. He was wearing a blue checkered flannel with his sandy blonde hair swooped across his forehead, which matched perfectly with his large hazel eyes. They were impossible to perfect with the watercolors I had, I could never get the sparkle that always seemed to shine or the varied shades of blue, green and brown that shone deeply within him.

I've had a crush on him for a while now, it's just part of my obsessive nature I guess, that I draw him sometimes after school. But I finally built up the nerve to ask him out, and he accepted, so we came here.

As I was wondering where he might have ran off to, my vision was covered by two hands.

"Guess who," I hear in Xavier's sing-song voice.

"I don't know who?" I play along jokingly.

"It's Xavier. I thought you knew my voice Elliott," he says with a hint of sarcasm. He then takes his hands off my face and turns towards me, "I went and got a map for us."

"Thanks, now who are you going to walk with?"

"Well I have both my Transgender and Pansexual flag on me, so I could do either. But look, they're right next to each other so I can stand in the Pansexual section with you and represent both."

"That's cool, but I need to use the bathroom quick. I'll be right back, it won't take long."

"Alright. I'll see you in our section in no later than 10 minutes, okay Elliott?"

"Okay," I replied and started to wonder off among the crowd. I didn't really know where to go, so I started off towards a nearby restaurant.

Carefully avoiding any flags, I made it about halfway down the street, before I lost my balance and fell onto the cracked sidewalk. I stood back up to see what I had tripped over and found a worn leather notebook with the name 'Sam' stamped onto the cover. It appeared to be a journal or diary, so I bent down to see if there was any information on who the person was, and how I could give it back to them.

There was nothing on the front or back cover, though the book appeared to be very worn. With the journal in a tight grip, I made sure to not drop it on my way to the family restaurant I was originally planning on going to. Once inside I quickly found the bathroom and took a seat in the second stall. Then, I slowly began inspecting the journal, curious, but not wanting to invade a random person's personal thoughts.

"A few pages won't hurt," I thought to myself, 'just enough so I can return it to the owner.

On the inside cover, neatly written was information about the author:

'Sam Richardsen, Age: 15. The Journey of Finding Myself, which I will carry on myself at all times to protect my special story.'

It didn't really explain much about Sam, so I decided to look further into their journal to see if they were, perhaps at the pride parade as well.

"September 3, 2012. Today was the first day of school, and I already was getting bullied. I knew that it wouldn't be long till they found me, but I thought I would at least have a few days. Let me start off by telling about myself, because who knows, this may be of some use in the future. My name is Sam Richardsen, and I am Intersex. I was born with female body parts, but I am going through what a man typically goes through during puberty. All of my genetics are mixed up, so my gender is neither female nor male.

"I have a short pixie cut haircut, with my auburn-brown hair, which suits well with my light blue eyes. I also am growing some facial hair above my top lip, and on my chin, which I call my 'stubble' which suits my awkward appearance and never-ending tormenting at school. I have been called all sorts of names, but I'm not going to list them now. This is supposed to be a positive journal to look back, not to spark up my depression again.

"Even though sometimes I regret my existence, I do have my friends that support me, and keep me going day after day. I am eternally grateful for them and hope that one day I can support others as well as they have supported me. Though I am just starting my journey-"

"Hey Elliott, is everything alright? You were gone for over 15 minutes and the parades about to start." I hear Xavier with his worried tone he normally gets when he is either anxious or scared.

I come out of the stall and explain to him about the journal on the way back to the parade, "We have to give this back to Sam, I know we do. Even though it wasn't right, I read some of what was in here, and this person went through a lot more than I did. Please Xavier, can we find Sam?"

"Alright, as long as we make it quick." He replies back while increasing his pace to a slight jog.

After we make it back to the parade we look for the Intersex pride flag. After about 4-5 groups up, we finally find the small group of 7 people.

"Are any of you Sam?" I ask around, moving from one person to the next. With no luck so far, I reach the last person of the group, "Are you Sam?"

"Yeah I am, how do you know my name?"

"I found your journal on the ground, and wanted to return it to you before the parade was over."

"Thank you so much, I was looking all over for this! I can't thank you enough, and by the way what are you and your friend names?"

"My name's Elliott, and this is Xavier," I explain. "Well it was great talking to you, but my friend and I want to go up to our own section if you don't mind."

"It's okay, maybe we can meet up later than?"

"Come on, Elliott," Xavier calls from behind me, starting off without me again.

"Yeah, of course, I'll see you around Sam," I call and run after Xavier.

Later in the day, when the parade was finished and most of the people left, Xavier and I ran into Sam again. We sat and talked to each other about our stories, and experiences, since we all had varied identities.

And even though I didn't know it then, that was a moment that I would never forget, for the rest of my life.

{Author's Note: I hope this story came out well. I thought of this idea when I was reviewing the guidelines of the project, so I don't know how good it exactly came out. Votes and comments are greatly appreciated.}