Mute. *A Before You Exit-Connor McDonough Fan Fiction*

One

"I can't do this anymore," I thought to myself sadly.

I've done this before. Said I was finished writing stories. Stated that same line for the nth time, claiming that it was the last time I would ever touch that book. But this was it. I'm drawing the line.

I closed the book for the final time. I never touched it again, opened it, I mean. I would occasionally pick it up to look for something or when I rearranged the books on my bookshelf, but that was it. I was really, truly done.

Writing those stories was my only way of expressing myself. I was told by my friends I'd always put a little piece of my personality into the main characters of my stories. I don't know how they knew my personality. I haven't ever spoken one word to anyone outside of my household.

I don't understand a lot of things about myself. My situation with speaking is the most wondered about in my mind. I can speak to Mom and Dad perfectly fine. They even say I will never shut up about anything I talk about, mostly Before You Exit, though ;) My sister, Sierra though, it depends. One day she'd try talking to me and ask me questions but in return, she'd just get silence. Other times, I'd be just how I am with Mom & Dad, I won't shut up. I always make her laugh when I ramble on and on about a bunch of nonsense. My brother, Zach, is a little more different than my sister. He rarely ever speaks to me, only when he has to. He won't ask me questions like Sierra, though.

Out of all the members of my family, my favorite is my puppy dog, Bailey. Even though she is long out of her puppy years, I will forever and always call her my puppy. She understands me like nobody else. I'd write stories and she'd be sitting there at my feet at the end of my bed, waiting for me to finish the chapter I was writing. Then, when I did finish, she somehow knew I was done with that chapter and was ready to read it to her. She'd get excited and nudge my hand because she wanted to hear what I had written that time. I'd read her what I had and while I was reading, she'd just be there listening as if she understood every single word I'd said. I could talk to her with out a problem. She's the best I could ever wish for. Sadly, she's getting pretty old and, even though I hate to admit it, I think her time to go is coming soon. But I don't like to think about that. I just enjoy her while I can.

Let's see I've told about Mom & Dad, then Sierra & Zach, & Bailey. Who am I forgetting? Oh yes, me. I'm Serenity, 17 going on 18 in a few weeks. Before You Exit is coming to town & performing on my birthday! Talk about a major birthday present! My mom & dad surprised me with BYE tickets & Bus Party tickets just a few days ago. It's not like I'll be able to talk to them though.

My disorder I have is called Selective Mutism. It's where the person affected by it cannot speak to certain people or in certain environments. Some patients loose the ability to read and/or write but that's only in very serious cases. In my case, I can still read and write but I can't speak to anyone outside my household. And how do I communicate with my friends & teachers you might ask? Sign language. To be my friend and to really understand me, you need to be able to sign or else we can't communicate. Well, we could but it'd be very difficult. I am not writing everything I have to say down on a piece of paper or on a white board. No. My arm would fall off at the end of the day.

I only have two best friends. Everyone else I consider a friend but these two really understand me. Chris and Avery are the only students at school who know how to sign. They speak while they sign because I can still hear. They just don't expect a spoken response from me. Other kids will talk to me, usually just giving me a compliment, but won't expect a response. I'll just smile and they'll know that means thanks. Don't get the wrong idea. They rarely ever talk to me so I'm not insanely popular.

My school is pretty normal. Everyone is extremely nice, no drama queens or jocks to rouse up the school. I know, it's pretty boring without both of them but I'm more apt to talk to other people in a nice environment. But I don't, I still haven't come around yet and I'm already a senior.

So, I think that's all you need to know about me for right now. Oh yes, I have a HUGE crush on Connor from BYE but it's not like I could ever tell him that myself, and even if I could speak to him, I wouldn't tell him. I would need my mom to translate if I was feeling brave enough to sign it. She goes with me everywhere because most people don't know sign language and Connor is one of those people. Plus there are a million other girls prettier than me out therein the world, so it's not like he can say I like you back. I can't wait to see him and his brothers,Braiden, and Thomas perform in a few weeks! Here's how the night will go; I will jam my heart out to their music at the concert, buy one of everything from the stand where they sell all their merchandise, go outside and get a few pictures taken with them before the bus party, go to the bus party, and end off the night with a nice veinti cup of Starbucks! Who knows, maybe they'll "follow" me to Starbucks afterwards ;)