Air

Don't Tell Mama

"Best friends don't have to pretend."

-Cher Llyod, "The Oath"

Arielle and James have been out of my house for 30 minutes. Sarafina's probably the one who scared them out. She was yelling at me for joining a Pagan coven and not telling her. I'm not sure why. She's never really cared about my secret or personal decisions before. Why does she suddenly care now?

Sarafina paces around our room. She puts her hands on her temples. She is clearly very stressed out.

"Why did you keep this from me?" Says Sarafina. "And why don't you like Wicca anymore? You were the one who introduced it to me."

"Sarafina, you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. I didn't even know that they were holding a coven to begin with. I came with them to Shell Beach, and when they performed the initiation ritual, I joined. But I didn't really know they were a Pagan coven," I say.

Sarafina faces me. She stands tall and puts her hands down by her sides. She takes a few deep breaths, and says, "Well, alright, then. Do you plan on being a part of this coven anymore?"

I shake my head no. "I mean, I still want to hang out with James and Arielle, if that's okay with you. But I don't plan on going to any more of their meetings," I say.

"Okay," Sarafina says calmly. "That sounds great."

Suddenly, Darren bursts in through the door. He does not look happy. His eyes are bigger than usual, his fists are clenched, and he is biting his lips.

"Anna, you need to take me to buy a new CD," he says.

"No, I don't need to," I say. "You just would like me to."

Darren crossed his arms. He pouts his lips and crosses his arms. He looks so immature right now. This makes sense. I mean, he is only 10, and he's always acting like a douchebag. I really don't want to get him this CD. He isn't acting like he deserves it. But I feel like I have no other choice.

"Fine, Darren. I'll walk you to the strip mall. There's a record store in there. We can probably buy you a tape or CD," I say. I point to my door. "Now go wait outside."

Darren and I have walked halfway to the strip mall. We haven't been out for that long, though. The mall is only 10 minutes away from our house, walking distance. It's really not so awful.

"So," I say, as the wind blows through Darren's curly brown hair, "How's 4th grade?"

"Awful," says Darren.

"That sucks," I say. "Why don't you like it?"

"Because it sucks," he replies. "I really don't wanna talk about it."

I nod. Why doesn't he want to talk about his begin of 4th grade? I wonder if he's mad at me for making his year worse. Did I really make his year worse, though? I don't think so. I haven't done anything to hurt him or his feelings.

In no time at all, we reach the record store. It is just as small and crammed as I remember it.

Darren browses through a collection of hard rock CDs. I roll my eyes. If he buys a Marilyn Manson CD, I will be so mad at him. I told him not to, after all.

"Anna," Says Darren, as he moves some CDs around. "Are people at your school mean to you?"

I nod. "Yup. Some of the students aren't really a fan of the fact that I'm Wiccan and I have a black adopted sister. I try not to let them get to me, though. Why do you ask?"

Darren sighs. He looks up at the ceiling. I can see that he has started to sweat like it's 100 degrees in here, even though it's only 75. My brother wants to tell me something. He has a heavy weight he needs to lift off his chest. I can tell.

"Anna, the kids in my classroom are really rude to me all the time," he says, practically sobbing.

I frown. I know Darren has been mean lately, but now I know why. He is just angry and sad, but he can't let out his emotions in a healthy way. He has been drowning his feelings in mean words, hardcore music, and thievery instead. This is awful. I feel so bad for him! He doesn't deserve to be bullied.

I pull a kleenex out of my purse. I hand it to him. He wipes his eyes and loudly blows his nose. He's probably embarrassed he has to wipe his tears in public. Thank God we're the only customers in here.

"What are they doing?" I ask.

"Well, I got assigned to sit next to these to boys named Alex and Kay. When I took my seat, they just rolled their eyes at me. I didn't know why, until Alex asked Kay if I was a devil worshipper. Kay nodded, and later on told everyone this lie that everyone in my family worshipped the devil. Now, the kids at school go out of their way to be mean. One even said, 'Not my church, satan lover!'" He says, completely distressed.

"Oh, Darren, it's okay to be sad about this. People at school have been treating me like crap, too. Why don't you pick out your CD, and I'll wait for you at the register, okay?" I say.

As Darren continues to shuffle through various CDs, I walk to the register. I slump my back against the counter. I take a deep breath in. I can't believe I was so mean to James. I shouldn't have subjected him to my fight with Sarafina. I really hope he'll still love me.

I pull our my phone. I punch in his number. I text him and apologize, hoping with every ounce of my being he will forgive me.

Me: Hey, babe. I'm really sorry about that thing that went down at my house. I'm sorry I fought with Sarafina about the coven. She's fine with it, by the way. I hope you know I love you, but I only want to meet with you and Arielle outside of the coven. I'm a Wiccan, not a Pagan. Xxoo, Anna.