after the sun sets

PART 1: LOST, BUT FOUND

Prologue

When I was 6 years old I heard for the first time that the light moves faster than anything else on earth and that if something reaches the speed of light, it becomes light itself. I was amazed by that fact.

By the day I heard it from that blonde scientist (My dad kind of translated what she was saying because I couldn't understand a thing. I was 6 after all) in one of those scientific content things that my dad used to see, I had a goal in my life. I wanted someday in the future to be strong enough, to have enough courage to make it, to do something that everyone else thought was impossible. To run faster than everyone, to become the light. Everyday, I would go out in the garden and run circles on the grass endless hours for a dream that seemed to the others completely insane.

For me, the light was something special. The way it made my room shine every morning; the way it passed through the blinds; the way it reflected through the mirrors; the way it brightened the one side of an object and left the other one in the darkness, as if it wanted to punish it. All these things made the light admirable.

And I wanted to be the light myself because (a) I liked doing things that others claimed I was unable to do, (b) light was able to run free, and (c) everyone preferred it. I wanted to be important, to matter in other people's lives, even like that. I wanted to be free, to make my own choices; and I wanted to be eternal and imperishable.

However, the day of my 11th birthday everything changed. This was the worst day of my life. My father came into the house drunk. When I asked him what was going wrong he slapped me. And then he slapped me again; and one more time; and again. He stopped when I fell on the ground unable to endure the pain.

"You're brother is right, you know; you killed your own mother the day you were born. It's funny, isn't it? I thought it would be one of the happiest days of my life but it turned out to be ... And all because of you. You were a trouble from the beginning!'', I remember him saying.

I don't know what got into him. It had been 11 years since my mother died and he still hated me. All those years he was keeping that inside him and I couldn't imagine that the person I thought loved me the most, actually hated me all those years. My world fell apart. I lost my strength and my trust within two seconds.

The next day, I didn't know what to do. I was hoping that the last night was all just a result of the overdrinking. But it wasn't. As I was sitting near the window and watching the trickles of the rain running in little paths on the glass, waiting for the rain to calm so that I could go out and "train" for one more time, my dad came in.

"What are you doing there?"

"I'm waiting for the rain to stop so that-"

"Don't be so stupid! Grow up! You're not a little girl anymore! From 6 years old you have become 11. If I ever see you running in the garden again I swear, my words won't be the ones to hurt you. Is that clear?''

"Crystal" I said. That was kind of our inside joke, but he didn't laugh, and neither did I.

He just changed so much all of a sudden and I wasn't that ready. In the start it wasn't that bad but then..

Anyway, he made me cosider some things. I, indeed, needed to grow up. When all my friend were talking about their dreams and their ambitions, which (needless to say) were about nothing more than their career and family, I was talking about how much I wanted to be like the light. They were laughing at me. They were thinking that my dream was too childish (..and maybe it was but I didn't really care). Everyone had grown up; everyone's desires had changed, except mine.

So I cornered my dream at the back of my mind and quitted. I stopped believing in it only to make the others stop laughing at me and, well, because my father kind of forced me to so that I will ''take care'' of my family. But I knew that, someday, I would definitely dig it up and nobody would judge me, they would be too mature to be concerned about this. They wouldn't even care. And it may sound impossible, but I would make my dream come true one way or another, and all the people who ever judged me would feel shame for not believing me. But I wouldn't be there anymore and they wouldn't be able to apologize. I would have already started my eternal journey, the brightest of all. 

I hope you at least understood it, as I said my english aren't the best. I'm really trying, though. :'( Correct me in the comments, it would be really helpful.

Anyway, if you liked it please comment or vote or anything. I just want to know if I have supporters.