I'll Never Forget

Chapter 4

After seeing my dad that day, something clicked, it was almost like I was a new a person – a person I didn't recognize. At that moment, all I wanted in the world was to finally begin something with you, no more games, no more tricks – just us. I knew that I didn't want to ever be like my father, a coward. All I figured was the best way to avoid this was to put my feelings out on the line. I knew that it probably would be the scariest thing I've ever had to experience, because I am not used to sharing my feelings, let alone proclaiming it to a guy I have a crush on. I woke up and destroyed my closet and wardrobe just to find the perfect thing to wear. That was until I realized that I have basically nothing in my entire closet that I could wear. I finally decided on some three year old navy jeans from Target and worn down burgundy sweater that had a high low cut from TJ Maxx. To finish off the outfit, I put on my black doc martens that were worn out, and I looked at the clock and ran downstairs and out of the door, realizing I wouldn't have time for breakfast.

All morning whilst in my beaten up, vintage car, I practiced the exact words I was going to say to you. I was planning on telling you that we owed it to ourselves to give us a chance. Once I opened my rusty car door, I had two feelings: a feeling of terror but more importantly, extreme confidence. As I walked through those doors on that Monday morning, it was like I was marching in order to complete a mission, asking Connor out, although I didn't even know his name at the time. Without paying attention I rammed into someone and we collided: dropping my binders and books along with all my papers falling out and both our phones slid in opposite directions. I was just about ready to lose it until I saw those deep gorgeous, green emerald eyes. As we raised our heads, our eyes met and just for that one second everything seemed to make sense. At that moment in time, I knew that he would be the person that would complete me and who would make me a better person. Maybe then, my heart knew something that my head wasn't aware of because little did I know that I would be right.

He was helping me, collecting my papers as I picked up his phone and he picked up mine while saying in a tone of voice that could make me love him and loathe him at the same time, "Is this our thing?"

Once he said that, I didn't really understand and had a somewhat confusing look on my face as he continued to say, "You, hurriedly rushing off somewhere, while we collide and I pick up your phone asking for a favor in return."

I responded with a smirk, trying to contain my happiness of bumping into him, "Oh God. What is the favor this time?"

He seemed almost shocked once I said this and exclaimed, "Oh please, you know you love it."

In that second, the both of us starting busting out in laughter. In that moment everything seemed to melt away and all the current drama I was dealing with the day before, wasn't there. I think I always craved for someone like Connor in my life, but I just didn't know that until he walked into my life.

He then continued his rehearsed speech by saying, "I've been wanting to ask you this since I bumped into you last week in the hallway. I really like you and since you owe me I think we should go out Saturday, what do you say?"

"A date? What the hell? One date, but I will only go on one condition. At the very least you should tell me your name," I answered his question, dazing into his gorgeous bright green eyes.

"I'm Connor Wilson. Your turn because it's been driving me crazy," He responded with a smirk and a flip of his hair.

"As much as I'd love to continue to torture you. It's Alessandra. Alessandra Daniels." The way we looked into each others eyes, it felt as if I knew every single flaw, every single mistake and error he had ever made in his short yet tortured life. The way his smirk matched his persona, I knew that even though I had just learned his name, I knew more about him than I could ever learn about anybody else. Then in there all I wanted in the world was to kiss him and have him whisk me away, but I actually really liked him and knew that it wasn't worth ruining a possible relationship with a single passionate encounter, that is seen in the movies, that just makes your feet and certain other parts tingle in all the right places. Even then and there I knew that however long this lasted I would forever get lost in those emerald sea green eyes that made me regret my decision to not kiss him right then and there.

As we stood there in the crowded, rambunctious hallway before classes even began, my body began to tighten up and it felt like those black and white movies and I truly believed that there was nobody in the hallway except for us. There was nothing I wanted more than to stay like this forever. I knew the second he turned away, he wished he hadn't because he felt everything that I felt. He turned back at a final glance and even though I looked like a kid who couldn't take their eyes off of their television set on a Saturday morning while watching cartoons, I didn't care and couldn't afford to either. 

The thought of our date gave me chills and goosebumps all over my body because I couldn't believe how fast this all seemed to happen. I was more scared and more excited about Saturday than I had been about anything and everything in my entire life. Connor was the type of person who made me better because he had that affect on people. He was the one to pull me out after being so lost, and so confused for years. I had a feeling that something was about to begin and if I only knew how right I was about that. No one, including Connor and myself, would be able to predict what this feeling, what this memory started.

At that moment I felt powerful, as if no one and nothing could ever bring you down. You know the scenes in the movies where the character says something along of the lines of "It can't get any worse" and then of course it does. Well of course that's how I always felt when Dani approached into any remotely happy situation. Even though her pure mission in life was to make sure I was never happy and to make sure that when I was happy it was brief. As she walked down the hallway, Brendan had his shoulder over her and he looked sad. Even though he had hurt me and I had done the same, he was once my best friend and I knew that I wanted to help him somehow because no one deserves the pain that was illustrated across his face. As I began to approach, I remembered Connor and how I can't mix up with Brendan because I know that unresolved feelings will come to the surface and the way Dani would react and I just couldn't let Connor into that part of my past. Even though it tore into my soul, I walked past them and I just knew Brendan had thought we would talk because as he turned back he had the same gut wrenching feeling in his soul that I did. As much as I wished I didn't have some feelings for Brendan, I knew it was no longer an option because Connor was here now and he couldn't know of that past, I wouldn't let him.