Black Butler x Reader Oneshots/lemons

Bardroy x Suicidal! Reader: Secrets and Notes

AN: Self harm is included in this story. Self harm is not funny or helpful. If you do self harm now,  talk to someone about it. Please from the bottom of my heart, do NOT do self harm in real life. i like you all very much and i want you all to read forever until you grow old. This also kinda broke my heart to write and I am sorry in advanced if it's short and sucks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n's PoV

I move the blade across my skin like I am painting a drawing. Laughing cynically but quietly, I think about the Phantomhive Manor. Sebastian the butler, has put most work on me, Mey-Rin screws everything up I do, Finny doesn't talk to me, and Bardroy pretends I don't exist. Only Master Phantomhive cares somewhat. But they don't matter to me anymore. 

As i slowly clean myself up from cutting, I look around my bathroom. There are small puddles of blood on the white tile, and some on the cabinet. No one in the Phantomhive Manor knows I cut myself. As I think I slowly sit down and close my eyes, drifting off to sleep in the bathroom. 'Please, let me go out of this world.....'.

*time skip to the morning*

It's morning...my body slowly starts moving and my eyes open slowly. "Crap...why do I suffer the most?" I think aloud as i stand up in the bathroom, looking at my scarred arms. I stand looking in the mirror, remembering last night. Sighing disappointed, I start getting ready.

After getting dressed, i noticed no one awake so I go into the kitchen and starts making the young Master's tea and breakfast. Soon after i start boiling the water for the tea, I feel a presence behind me and I turn around. "Y/n, Bardroy is the cook, not you. You do not have to make Young Master's breakfast" Sebastian says, glaring down into my e/c eyes. "Well he's not up and you don't want to make his breakfast later yes?" i rudely reply. Sebastian says nothing and walks away, frustrated. 

When I finished making the breakfast, I call for Sebastian and he took the tray from me. As I clean the kitchen up, I hear foot steps. I turn around to see Bardroy, holding a small flower and a note. "Ay Y/n, um t-this is for y-you" he hands both items to me and i walk off, stuffing the note in my pocket and holds the flower. "Thanks...." i walk away to do my normal duties.

*long time skip brought to you by Ciel's Earl Gray Tea, try it for some reason*

I sit in my bathroom again, leaning against the wall with my blade again. I never checked the note that Bard gave me. It doesn't matter at all....No one cares, no one will notice my disappearance. I put the blade to my skin once again, until my door has been busted down. There in the doorway, stood Bardroy with a shocked expression on his face as he looks at me. 

"What the hell Y/n?!" he yells and storms into my bathroom and takes the blade from my hands and throws it away. "Why the hell do you even care? You pretend I am invisible!" i yell back, walking out of my bathroom. "Did you even read the note i gave you???" he walks behind me and grabs my wrist and i hiss in pain.

I don't say anything, but i instead pull the note from my pocket and reads it and tears up. Bard tilts my head up, looking into my eyes and kisses my cheeks as the tears flow. The note said...:

Dear Y/n,

I could never tell you why i think you don't exist. But I love you and i always try to talk but i'm too shy i guess...but i still love you, Love Bardroy

As I sob into Bard's chest, he kisses the top of my head then slowly works his way around my face until he reaches my lips. I look at him, sort of calm, and he leans down and kisses me gently, lovingly.