Just Close Your Eyes (girlxgirl)

CHAPTER SEVEN

I called Becky sometime before I was supposed to meet her at Secret’s Bluff, and explained that we should both stay at our homes tonight. I owed that much to my mom and Tyler, to give them some kind of peace before I go. I didn’t want their last memory of me to be of us fighting. Or me running off in the middle of the night, holding hands with my girlfriend. I just felt the need to give them this last night of happiness.

I planned out the night so I could spend one on one time with both of them. I asked Tyler to stay home, rather than to see his friends. I asked mom to order us a pizza and pick up some movies. She had asked what kind of movies I wanted to watch, I told her anything that will make us laugh. No drama, for once, we all needed a break from it.

I also her know that I wouldn’t be sneaking out to see Becky tonight, this alone made her happy. She was grinning like the Chesire cat as she grabbed up her keys and headed for the door.

Deciding that this would be the best opportunity to have an uninterrupted chat with Tyler, I asked him to join me in the dining room. At first we just sat there, not talking, just staring. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him, thinking about our past, all the mischief we’ve been in together, all the trouble we caused each other. He was my brother, I’ve always joked about how he has been my partner in crime. Every time one of us would get in trouble with our parents, the other was right there admitting their part in all of it. Oh the memories.

I tried to keep myself from thinking about what he’ll be when he finishes college, or if he’ll even go through college. Thinking of his future and what I’ll be missing out on will only make this harder.

He was staring at anything but me; the wooden floorboards beneath the table, the grandfather clock ticking away against the wall, the large fake vicus tree in the corner.

I didn’t know where to start, I wanted to be open and honest with him, but I couldn’t tell him everything. I’m not sure how he would react, and I know I shouldn’t risk it. And there really wasn’t anything I’d be able to say to him to make him feel better if I was able to spill the details. I can tell him how I feel, but not what’s going on.

“You know I love you, right? No matter what happens,” I say, starting with the obvious. This was my attempt to keep the mood light, but still say what needs to be said.

“Yea, I love you too. Ya know, in that noncreepy kind of way,” he mumbled, looking down at his hands. “You’re my sister, we’re good, nothing need be said about it.”

“Well I wanted you to know.”

I could tell he was feeling a bit uncomfortable, he hasn’t been open about sharing his feelings since dad left.

 “This ‘heart to heart’ have something to do with the move?”  he asks.

“Yea… Yea it’s about the move. We don’t exactly know how it’s going to be after tomorrow night.”

“It’ll be different, but we’ll deal. I mean, I’ll miss my friends sure, some more than most. But I’ll keep in touch, ya know?”

“Keeping in touch is important,” I agreed.

A certain awkwardness filled the air between us. I didn’t really plan this well enough, I should have practiced what I was going to say, rather than winging it.

“This whole thing with Becky… You really do love her, huh?”

His question caught me off guard, but I was quick to answer, “More than life itself.”’

“You’d do anything to stay with her, if you could?”

“Yea, I really would.”

“Hmm,” he hums, turning his gaze back to the fake tree, but I could see in his eyes he wasn’t seeing it. He was sitting across the table, but he was miles away from me.