Bold: Memories
Italicized: Thoughts
Normal: Present
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"Jeonghan, you ready to go?" Soonyoung knocked on his door, looking at the boy who has bloodshot eyes and his necktie- loose.
"Ne, Soonyoung-ssi" Jeonghan said, standing up and grabbing a new pack of tissue paper near the table beside him.
It's been a week, a week without happiness and laughter, a week without, him
"You brat, come back here and wash the dishes!!" Seungcheol shouted as Jeonghan ran to the living room, setting up their DVD player and choosing a movie, "Seungcheol-hyung, leave those first! I promise to wash those later! Come here and help me pick a movie." Seungcheol sighed as he put walked to the living room; he stared at Jeonghan who is setting up for a 'Movie Marathon'. Seungcheol doesn't really watch movies, he finds them a 'waste of time' and crappy, especially those sappy romantic movies that never failed to make him cringe.
But as long as I'm with him, I don't bother watching those sappy movies.
"Jeonghan, I know it hurts but, we have no choice but to... accept it... Seungcheol doesn't want you to look and feel like this, I'm sure of it. Come on, fix yourself." Soonyoung said as he guided him to the restroom. He washed his face a couple of times, trying to get rid of the tears that dried up.
"Seungcheol-hyung doesn't want me to look horrible, right?"
"Seungcheol-hyung! What do you think of this?" Jeonghan asked as he shoved a shirt to Seungcheol's face, "Stop it, brat. How can I judge if I can't see?" Jeonghan grinned and showed it to him properly, "Try it on" Seungcheol said as Jeonghan ran to the fitting room, he literally had sparkling eyes a while ago... Seungcheol giggled at the thought.
"Seungcheol-hyung!"
"Coming"
"What do you think????"
"It looks... nice"
"That's all you had to say?" Jeonghan pouted,
"You look... beautiful" Jeonghan smiled as he removed the shirt and looked at the mirror once again,
"Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all?" He laughed as he pulled Seungcheol outside and payed for the shirt.
Of course it's you, you shithead.
"Jeonghan!"
"Oh... Joshua"
"Oh god, Jeonghan look at you, you sure you're eating well?" Jeonghan looked on the ground, avoiding Joshua's eyes,
"Y-Yeah..."
Joshua sighed as he embraced Jeonghan, "Everything will be fine." Jeonghan bit his lip, trying to control himself not to cry in front of them,
"It's alright to cry, Jeonghan. I... You know I'm not good with words, right? But remember that we are here, I am here. It's alright."
Jeonghan grabbed a new pack of tissue paper and wiped his eyes again, it's hard, without him. But he won't be happy seeing me in this state, right? He wants me... to be happy, right?"
"Seungcheol-hyung let's try this one!!" Jeonghan shouted like a child, dragging Sungcheol into a game of darts in the amusement park. Apparently, Seungcheol is really good at this. Jeonghan gave the money and purchased 3 darts, he tried the first two but he can't hit the target. Jeonghan looked at the last dart with sad eyes, "Seungcheol-hyung i want that cat" Seungcheol can't have Jeonghan getting broken hearted with a stupid dart game. He grabbed the dart and aimed, being good at darts, he hit the target and got the cat that Jeonghan wanted; he grabbed it happily and said, "It looks like you, Seungcheol-hyung!"
"Shut up, brat"
"Seungcheol-hyung! Let's ride the Ferris wheel!"
"Hah? But it's getting dark."
"Riding the Ferris wheel is better at night, you know!"
"Jeonghan, there are too many people, you'll get tired of standing up."
"It's okay! As long as you're by my side, I don't mind waiting!" Jeonghan smiled as he dragged Seungcheol to the line.
If this will make you happy, I'll be by your side, forever.
"Jeonghan, let's go. It's time to see him."
"Yeah" He wiped his tears once again, following Soonyoung as Joshua gives him another pack of tissue paper.
He walked slowly, tears falling from his eyes again; his legs are shaking and his heart- beating fast.
"Seungcheol-hyung..." He whispered as he looked at his lover's body, he still looks beautiful, wearing a suit, his hair- styled perfectly, and he's still as perfect as he thought.
"Seungcheol-hyung... why did you leave..." Soonyoung tried to calm him down by rubbing his shoulders and back,
"I didn't even say a proper goodbye! I... I miss you so much... come back and call me a brat again! I promise to do the dishes on time, I won't force you to watch those romantic movies anymore, I promise not to try to burn the house next time I'll definitely learn how to cook just... just come back..."
Don't leave me alone...
Jeonghan went home, alone. He looked at the trunk of his car and saw some Seungcheol's stuff. He grabbed the sweater and wore it, he drove
the way home, with Seungcheol's scent still present in the sweater, and his heart beating so fast like it's about to come out of his chest.
As he reached home, he looked around. This house is supposed to be full of happiness and laughter and hugs and kisses. But right now, it feels so empty and forgotten.
He went to his room and tried to sleep, but he can't. He remembered Seungcheol's face;
He looks so beautiful, but dead.
Soon, he received a text message from Soonyoung,
"Check Seungcheol's drawer"
He stood up and opened the drawer, there, he saw a notebook. Seungcheol is not fond of writing, and he doesn't remember Seungcheol owning this kind of notebook, but he checked it anyway.
December 12
Jeonghan, I'm so sorry I shouted at you for not cleaning the room earlier, I love you.
December 14
Jeonghan, let's go to the newly opened restaurant and invite some of our friends, you'd love that, don't you? I'm so sorry I shouted at you a lot today, I love you so much.
January 4
Jeonghan, I'm so sorry I didn't tell this to you sooner. I'm so sorry, I don't want you to worry about me, I'm so sorry, forgive me...
What are these? Letters? For me?
January 14
my condition is getting worse, I might not last until February, I'm sorry Jeonghan, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner
January 16
I love you, Jeonghan. Continue living, okay? Don't forget me, okay?
Jeonghan closed the notebook, hugged it, and with teary eyes, he forced himself to sleep.
"Don't forget me, okay?"
As if I would, idiot.
"Seungcheol-hyung, come here!" Jeonghan said, holding the camera,
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Whoever watches this right now, I want you all to know that this old man right here is an actual baby, he's actually my baby and he really hates romantic movies!"
"Stop it, shithead."
"You love this shithead"
Of course I do.
Jeonghan said as he switched it from "video" to "capture" and put his hand arm on Seugcheol's shoulder
"Smile, Seungcheol-hyung!"
You know I'll always smile for you.
