I grew up in school and would always dress baggy, unless my mother dressed me. I like the way i dress it is comfortable and how females should dress now a days. I liked boy's but I honestly just liked them because of what I saw at home, mom and day, male and female. So I thought, I was supposed to like boy's. I got older and I went through break up's and cheating but I had no idea that I liked girl's or nothing.
One time I was in school. Some girls I didn't know asked me was i gay. I said no at the time I had a boyfriend. So I was bullied in that school, then bullying me they told him I was probably gay the way I dressed and my behavior. He treated me different, cheated on me almost everyday with different girls. When I got to my maturity I broke up with him and never wanted to date boy's again.
I didn't want to be lonely. I gave it a while and I dated a little after that. They are all the same. So I didn't date anyone. I found myself pulled to YouTubers, dancers and singers I like that are all lesbians. I let it go thinking I'm not gay. My mom was always upset with who I liked and was inspired by. I wondered why when I said I'm straight I'm straight. She said " because the way you dress and who you like makes you look gay" I never had a problem with the LGBT but it's like my mom knew she just didn't want me to find out.
I was always scared to say I'm gay just for everyone to shut up and stop asking me because I don't know. But I did, it started in highschool. I was gay to me. But I didn't want to say that because I thought I was the only one and I didn't completely expect myself yet. I wasn't comfortable saying I was gay with straight friends. The first day of school, well first let me tell you the story of meeting one of my best friends. I was in my second period and she said hey wassup and we clicked right away. Amaya is a loyal friend. Well back to me coming out. We went to lunch together and I sat with her and other friends. She is very funny so she was loud and said she's gay or something to that fact but it was funny. I told her I am to is it only me and you? She said " no silly she's gay he's gay " " don't be scared to say your gay everyone is gay basically " so I was gay and i found my attraction to females. One of them was my other best friend. That now I don't know why I liked her but my homies Aj was the most noticeable lesbian so I guess I liked her. I was also attracted to this girly girl that I still like but ill let y'all know if it works out. But then mom found out.
I was doing dishes and she came dashing to me saying " you lied to me about liking girls " I had no words, really!! So I told her I like girls and I'm comfortable. She didn't believe me. She thought it was a phase. I've been gay still and I told my gay sister and she said I should tell dad. I was not at all to tell my dad. Because I'm a daddy's girl and I felt like if I told him I'm gay plus the way i dress. He would know I'm a dyke. I felt like he would think of me as a son more then a daughter, I was afraid of that.
I told my aunties and godmother first. They was cool with it. It was funny actually. They said the same thing " tell your dad " so i told him when he picked me up. He was fine with it and said I already knew. I said how " your my daughter, you rather play with a football then dolls " he started warning me about haters and Obstacles I would go through. I actually listened. Finally my mom expected me but still wanted a femme girl then stem. I let it go because I need to expect myself in life. Now I'm happy I can be myself. I will continue writing as I go...
