Color Blind

Chapter 8

For the next two days, I refused to get out of bed. I was so depressed about all that my mother had said to me, and just as embarrassed about everything that I'd found out about my family. I felt like I had just been completely exposed to the world and if I went to school, all of the kids would immediately be able to see my deepest, darkest secrets. The biggest secret of all, the one that I had been trying to hide for about three months now, was almost to the point where I could hide it no more. Not only was I thicker in the hips by the time my mother kicked me out, but my boobs were suddenly three times bigger for absolutely no reason. I was lying in the bed trying to think of how to leave the cheerleading squad, and what to do about my mom...and the baby...and myself...when my aunt knocked softly on the door.

"Rica?"

"Come in."

"Hi sweetie." She came to sit next to me. "I just made dinner. Are you hungry?"

"No." I answered softly and looked away.

"Look, Rica, I know you're hurting right now, but you have to eat something. I hate to remind you, but you are pregnant. You can't just stop eating any time you feel like it anymore. It will make you and the baby sick."

"I can't eat Aunt Rachael. I'll just end up throwing it all back up anyway."

"Honey, do you think maybe we should take you to the doctor? You weren't feeling well the last time you were over here, either."

"No, I'm o.k."

"Good. Then I expect you to get up and come to dinner. I'll send Tia in to get you after she sets the table." She paused at the door and turned around. "Rica...I want you to go to school tomorrow, too. You've already missed too many days so close to finals."

"Ok."

I sighed deeply as my aunt walked through the door. There was no point in arguing with her. The truth was that I did feel bad. Really bad. I had been getting cramps a lot lately, and I really did get sick every time I ate. But I couldn't tell Aunt Rachael that. Every time I went to the doctor, I had to get up on the cold, hard table and open my legs for this dude that I didn't even know. It was humiliating...and nerve-racking. Not only that, but they were always sticking something hard and metal, if not a needle, in me to test one thing or another and it was painful.

After my last visit, I decided that the less I saw of that doctor, the better. I also decided that this plan would never work if I complained about every little ache and pain.

Just then Tia came through the door. "Hey, are you still in bed? Get up! What's your problem anyway?"

I didn't answer, but followed her into the dining room. After dinner, we were in the kitchen washing dishes when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Tia looked at me and grinned. "Oh, hi Scottie! What's up?" Tia grinned at me again. "...oh yeah?" After a while, she said, "I don't know, I'll check," and tried to hand me the phone. I pushed it away. Tia mouthed, "Talk to him," but I turned my back and pretended not to notice. "Hey," she said into the receiver, "she still doesn't feel very well." She listened for a second, and then said, "Mm-hmm. Yeah, she thinks it might be strep throat. You didn't kiss her, did you?" We looked at each other and grinned. "Ok, Scott. I'll tell her," then she hung up.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Well, I told the kids at school you had a sore throat so they'd quit asking me where you were. I figured if I told Scott that you had strep tonight, then it would give you a few more days to mope around the house feeling sorry for yourself."