My Young Asian Love Story (Satire)

The conversation.

I texted the number, and to my surprise he said "who's this?". I was taken aback by this with sadness but in my state I still managed to say "It's Jenny, you bumped into me in the hallway 3 weeks ago. Will you go on a date with me?". He responded with "Woah this is a little fast. We can have lunch??" And I replied with "Sounds great. We can eat tomorrow." Just the thought of lunch with such an ugly guy got me super wet, and I fell asleep dreaming of browsing isles at the local Asia-Mart and touching his slimy Singapore noodle...