just ➳ j. jungkook

五

「just an autumn leaf」

___

a single autumn leaf dangled off of a thin branch, desperately hanging on.

jungkook watched, intrigued, as the leaf held its will against the gusts of the strong wind. but jungkook could tell it was close to breaking and falling apart.

he shivered.

the shriveled leaf seemed to symbolize their relationship - something that is now dead, but something that jungkook still holds protectively onto. why can't he give up on her? why is he still holding onto withered memories of a once carefree time? why does he not let go of the doleful past and focus on a brighter tomorrow?

the answer is simple.

it is because jungkook still loves her. and he is not able to ー not willing to ー let her go.

never, never fall.

jungkook wanted her to love him again. he wanted the old her back ー the one who hugged him and would never let go until she finally fell limp asleep beside him. but even then he didn't care to remove her loose arms from around his neck and chest. she would breath softly against his neck and, in her sleep, murmur his name. she spoke the secrets she would never tell him aloud in her dreams. the words she swore she would never say, she would whisper in her sleep.

baby, you girl. i can't give up on you. 

the wind blew harshly once again, and like tears, rain fell from the sky. the sky seemed to cry a lot lately, something jungkook could relate to.

the droplets of rain glistened on the autumn leaf as they dripped one by one onto the ground.

however, the dead leaf continued to cling on stubbornly, refusing to accept the fact it was dead and just let go.

just like jungkook, who refused to accept the fact that she was no longer his, he continued to cling onto the memories of the distant past, wishing ー hoping ー that things would go back to the way it was before.

jungkook hoped that this was all just a bad dream.

he walked away as he could not bear dwelling in the past. why do the nicest people get hurt the most?

perhaps the old saying was right.

❝don't make someone your world because when they walk out of your life, you won't have anything to live for.❞

___

jungkook pressed his frozen hands to his cheeks. a nice warm drink now would be good.

he walked to his favorite coffee shop ー the same coffee shop where he had first met her.

as jungkook strolled into the warm and cozy café, he was immediately greeted by the barista, jung hoseok.

"hey jungkook!" hoseok exclaimed cheerfully. "you here alone today?"

jungkook forced a smile and nodded.

"the usual, i assume?" hoseok smiled brighter than the sun, while writing jungkook's order onto the cup. "where's ー "

hoseok was cut off as the door opened again, bringing in a cold breeze.

"o-oh there she is," hoseok scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

jungkook turned around, furrowing his brows in confusion.

and then his heart broke... again.

there she stood, smiling and joking with another man, hanging onto his arm, like she had never broken jungkook's heart.

jungkook quickly turned around, with wide eyes, and threw a bill onto the counter, practically snatching his caramel macchiato out of hoseok's hand.

jungkook ran out of the coffee shop, hoping that she didn't see him. he left in a haste, accidentally bumping into her shoulder, though her eyes were too focused on her new man to notice.

yet another tear slipped down his cheek.

how could she have moved on already? did i really mean nothing to her?

he remembered what she had yelled to him that day.

"i hate you!"

more tears fell down his already damp cheeks.

the bright autumn leaf fell somewhere in the dark abyss behind him.

___

autumn leaves is lit.

so is baepsae. baepsae gets me turnt af.