The Bus Stop

16: Solitude

"You're making the right choice," Miss McCloud confirmed, offering me a reassuring smile as she placed my enrolment form into her book bag.  The smile could of been comforting if it wasn't for the fact that her green eyes looked so menacing as they contrasted with what appeared to be a genuine expression.  It was weird, being in the smiling presence of the teacher that had spent three years of high school hating me.

  I merely nodded my head, for I knew deep down that applying for Stanford was in fact the right decision.  It hadn't necessarily been a hard choice because I had always dreamt of attending Stanford, I just didn't have a clue as to what I would say to my parents. 

  "I know you were thinking of applying to WSC and by all means you can," Miss McCloud informed me, straightening up in her chair and smiling, "but Stanford is well aware of your swimming capabilities and they offer a great team."

  It was true, Stanford did have a remarkable swim team, but WSC had a better one.  The downside about Washington State College is that they were heavily operated around sports, leaving limited academic opportunities.  I wanted to be on a swim team as well as take chemistry classes and I knew that Stanford could offer me both, whereas WSC would lack in the latter.

  I nodded again, feeling it was the appropriate action in the current situation.  "Thank you, Miss McCloud," I said.

  My teacher simply just smiled at me even more brightly and I wasn't really sure whether her happiness was directed at me applying for Stanford, or the fact that I would be leaving her class forever in just under a matter of six months.  Nonetheless, I returned her grin and left the small classroom as I muttered a brief 'goodbye.'

  Acceptance letters for all colleges were supposed to be sent out in mid February and it was until then that I would keep my mouth shut.  My parents wanted me to go to the community college that was located down the end of our street.  There wasn't anything wrong with it, I just had bigger goals in life and I needed something larger to get me there—something like Stanford.  There also wasn't any point mentioning that I had applied for a different college, for if I didn't get in there was no need to even bring it up in the first place.

  Max Elliot was off to Duke next Fall, all the way over in North Carolina.  For the moment, he was only going for football but with a brain like his, I suspected he would take a route of English or Physics.  It frightened me that in just over a year we would both be parting our separate ways, off to a foreign place for four years.  Well, at least I was hoping I would be going some place new.

  I took a steady breath in and shut my eyes for a brief moment.  Christmas had lazily past by with a few new gifts and a large family dinner with Jackie and Max. It wasn't anything remarkable—nor was it worth remembering—but it wasn't nothing either. Mom and Jackie had managed to get the whole day off work, whereas my dad 'had' to work from eight in the morning until seven at night, despite the fact that his office was actually closed for the holiday. It didn't really bother me and as selfish as it sounded, his absence was soothing.

  When I was kid, Christmas was my favorite holiday to celebrate.  It wasn't because I received new gifts or that I held the growing excitement and anticipation of Santa's arrival.  It wasn't even because we got to watch Christmas movies in class as we made our own ornaments or decorated our house in festive decorations.  I liked it because it was a family day.  My mom was always working and dad was always in his study drinking and it left Max and I to fend for ourselves.  Except on Christmas, we went out as a family and we laughed and spent ours on end together.  Now the holiday just dampened my mood, for it was a memory of what used to be.