Then I Lost It all...

chapter one

So... I'm sitting here in my room. My doors locked and its 4 am. I'm curled up in a ball crying, gripping my blade. My hand is bleeding but I don't care. The only thing I can think of right now is wanting to fucking die. Its all that bitches fault. i fucking hate her!!! Her existence is what started all of this. My dad thinks she's a perfect angel. But when he's not here she beats me and then beats herself up and makes him think I did it. I can't take it!! I put the blade to my wrist and press down. Just then there was a knock at my door. I panic and hide my blade. I wrap myself in my red sweatshirt and go to my door. I unlock it to find my step mom standing there. "What are you still doing up, you fag?" She says. "I... I couldn't sleep."

I feel the blood running down my arm and quickly shut my door on her and locked it. She starts banging on my door and yelling. I quickly wipe the blood from my arm and bandage it. I always keep band aids in my room. I hide the evidence just in time for her to break my door open. "What the fuck, Jade?" She yells,"you know your not allowed to shut your door on me you fucking brat!!" She slaps me and I fall to the floor. All I remember is the repeated kicking to my head.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of blood. It was all around my head. With the amount of blood that I lost, I'm surprised I'm not dead. I go to the bathroom to shower all the blood out of my hair. I have long black hair, blue eyes, pale skin, you know...average emo fag right? I mean, that's what I get called every damned day. I get in the shower and let the hot water run down my back. "Ouch!" I say as my arm hits the hot water. I didn't remember them. I finish my shower, bandage my wounds, put on make up and get dressed. I put on my favourite TØP shirt and black skinny jeans. I grab my MCR backpack and put on my leather boots. I walk out of my room and there's my dad. "Hows daddy's little princess doing? Did my princess get enough sleep?" He hugs me and I cringe. I don't like it when he touches me. "I slept... Fine" I say as Dawn (step mom) walks out of their room. She glares at me."hi.." I say to her. My dad looks at me. "I'm sorry. I meant hello beautiful mother of mine." My dad lets go of me. "Where you going?" He says concerned. "I'm going to Justin's house. I'll be back tomorrow." He looked mad. "Don't you dare leave this house my princess. I have activities planned for us." He says and smirks. I needed to get away from them two. I walk downstairs and run out the door.