The Bucket List

Chapter Thirty Two

Harry's POV

"Please.. Please do everything to save her. I'm begging you."

Were now at the hospital, moments after Jennifer passed out the ambulance came quickly. I just hope it's not yet too late.

"We will Sir. We just need you to calm down and take a sit." The doctor said while he wears his mask and went to the ICU where Jennifer is.

I have no choice but to sit and pray that she'll be okay, That i'll still have more days, more months and years with her, Because I am not yet ready for her to leave me. I will never be ready.

I waited for almost an hour, walking back and forth as I try my best not to cry.. Then finally the doctor and some nurses went out.

"How is she? Is she okay now?" I immediateley rush to them. The doctor look at me with sad eyes, that moment I already knew what it means.. But still I wanna hear it. I wanna make sure.

"We're really sorry."

My heart crushed the moment I hear him say it.

"We did everything, We really did. But Jennifer's body is so weak now, she actually outdone hereself for making this far. We did everything Harry.." He said tapping my back.

My tears automatically fell while i'm out of words. I can't blame the doctor I know they did everything, they always do. But still, it hurts.. nothing compares with the pain i'm feeling right now. I looked down and tried my best to compose myself before I face the doctor.

"I.. I just.. Can I see her?" I said holding my tears back.

"Of course.." He said giving me a sad smile before he opens the door for me.

He called out all the nurses,before I finally came in. My whole body is shaking as I walk towards Jennifer.. And the moment I finally saw her, lying in that hospital bed.. I bursted to tears, as I collapsed on my knees. This is the saddest most painful feeling i've ever felt in my life. That dying right now would be the best thing to be.

I kept on crying for a moment as I finally collected myself and tried to look at Jennifer again.

"Pringles...I miss you already.." I cried as I held her cold hand.

I move her a little to the left, as I lay beside her and just feel her for a moment..

"I love you, so much.." I said while I hug her..

"You're okay now, You won't feel any pain anymore.. Wait for me there okay?" Those were the last words I've said before the doctor and  nurses finally enter again.

Three weeks after Jennifer's death.

It's been three weeks since she died, and the pain from the first time I knew she's dead, didn't lessen. It just gets worst every freaking day. I have thought of killing myself a lot of time, but everytime i'm up to do it, I feel afraid, afraid that Jennifer might not be happy of that thought.

So than killing myself with a knife or a rope, I decided to do what would maybe kill me. what would probably give me a disease. Like what i'm doing everyday, Alcohol and cigarettes. They are  my best friends now, I know Jennifer might not be happy with this too. but it's better than suicide. I guess.

Besides, i'm like dead inside too, my heart is already dead the moment Jennifer's heart stop beating.

I was lying in the couch when I heard a knock. I hate visitors, I never even let any member of my family in. They'll just tell me some clichè statements like "everything is going to be okay." Really? The love of my life died. How can everything be okay?

I stood up from the couch after the numerous annoying knocks, I opened it, and annoyed to see Frankie. Jen's friend.

"What? Why are you here?"

"Oh my God. Have you taken a shower? You look-"

I tried to close the door but he stops it with his hand.

"What do you want? I'm not accepting visitors as you can see Frankie, and I wanna be all alone."

"You think she'll be happy seeing you like this?"

"Oh c'mon. She should. This is better than me putting a knife on my throat."

His eyes widen with disgust and fear..

"I just came to hand you these." He said handing me a box.

"What's this?"

"Some of Jennifer's stuff she left in her apartment. Someone rent it already and she saw this while cleaning it up, she must have left this when she moved in with you here at the beach house."

"Thanks, You can leave now." I said finally closing the door.

I want to open the box,to look at her old stuffs, but I know when I open it, I won't probably stop crying again.

It's already night time and there's nothing to do than drink and watch some movies that suck, So I decided to just open the box Frankie gave me,

I was expecting some picture frames or figurines but all I see is a yellow notebook, her yellow notebook. And a letter.

     Hi.. My Hogwarts..

I'm probably dead for weeks now as you read this.. Frankie must be the one to hand you the box that contains this letter and my yellow notebook, I hope you didn't pushed Frankie out :) I know you're probably not in a good slate right now, you're probably still mourning, and i'm sorry... I'm sorry that I died. I'm sorry that we weren't able to grow old together. I'm sorry for not giving you the forever you want.. But Hogwarts, I want you to know that even i'm not with you physically, remember that I will always be there for you guiding you, serving as your angel.. I know it's hard.. To lose someone, to lose me.. but it doesn't mean you should stop living you life.. Maybe you're sitting on a couch getting yourself drunk right now as you read this, I know that because, I know you that well.. That's why I wrote this days before we moved out to the beach house and intentionally leave it here, in my apartment, because I know Frankie would give this to you.. It must be so hard for you right now, but I want you to be okay and continue your life..
Even without me.

But I don't wanna force you to be okay already, I know it will take time and it's hard. that's why when you're ready, open that yellow notebook of mine. I never wanted to die and leave you at this early, but I want you to know that those days that we are together are the best days of my life, and I will never trade it for anything.. You Harry, are the reason I kept fighting..Why I kept hoping, I might not be with you anymore, but always remember that i'm just here. I'm now your angel. You will always be the best thing that ever happened to me, And if I get the chance to live again.. I will still choose to be with you.. No matter what...

I love you My, Hogwarts...

                                                                                                              Your Pringles. :)