(JiHope) Your Bitter Smile

My First Crush

The first person who talked to me at the moment I arrived at BigHit entertainment was Hobi hyung. I could never forget the moment when he held my hand and smiled. Hobi hyung was so kind and always treated me to a meal. He would also follow me around like a little puppy, always being there as a companion.

In fact, I never thought I would meet him again. The moment my eyes made contact with the man who danced in front of my eyes years ago... Who also happened to be my first crush came back. When I thought I could never meet him again... He came back, finally.

I never brought myself to tell him that I watched him years ago. The memories were still blurry but still precious in my heart. J-Hope hyung is a very great dancer, I admit. The way he danced reminded me of a graceful swan who knew what he was doing. As if he was a peacock, who attracted me, showing its vibrant colors of his feather. I was attached and among the crowd, even snook a picture of him while he was dancing and made it my screen saver.

I've always hoped that one day, I could meet him again. Now Hobi hyung is right here, ever so bright and full of energy right beside me. We got along well and I found out so much about him over the years. It was as if I felt our bond connected like electricity.

However, I tried to keep distance. I knew deep down that I could never like a man. Hobi hyung was just my friend. Besides Hobi hyung, I met the rest of the members. My eyes sparked as soon as I saw our maknae, JungKook. I didn't know why but he just naturally attracted me, perhaps because he was the youngest of all of us. He was still bright, young and full of energy. I envied his good looks and singing abilities.

Over the years, I became instantly close to JungKookie. Besides JungKookie, I met our cool leader that goes by the name of RapMonster. We got along well, sometimes had some disagreements here and there but it really wasn't serious. Next was Jin hyung and he was really like an eomma to me. Like a mother, he took care of us and made delicious food!

Moving on, there was V and he was a great friend that I admired. Always being there for me and clinging onto JungKookie and, Hobi hyung. As for Suga, when I first met him, he looked cold and sounded harsh. I realized that Suga deep down was a very kind guy. Although he cursed at me sometimes (I recommend that you wouldn't want to wake him up) Yoongi is defiantly a warm person!

Overall, BTS has really changed me into a better person. Despite my love hanging on the rope, I could only think it was the best between Hobi hyung and me, that we must not develop any special feelings towards each other.

Furthermore, our ARMY's that transformed us into better performers and dancers had been a big part of our life as entertainers. Even for me, it wasn't possible that BTS would exist without their help and love!

I closed my notebook that I've been writing on then sighed. I plugged in my earbuds as I listened to music.
The room was silent because no one was there. NamJoonie left to go to the other room and read over his lyrics. On the other hand, Hobi hyung was in the shower. I was kind of nervous because it's been a really long time since we've ever been alone together. Usually there would be people near us and then we would laugh and joke. However now, it's a little different.

My heart was somehow beating faster than normal. I've always trained myself to be calm but my body wouldn't cooperate with me. I closed my eyes tightly as I fell onto my bed. The lights were dim and music only played in my ears. I increased the volume so it'll be louder so it could replace my troubled thoughts.

...

Several minutes passed.

Suddenly, I felt a warm hand on my hands. I opened my eyes and saw Hobi hyung staring at me, shirtless. I held in my breath in total confusion. As soon as J-Hope saw me in this state, he smiled then took out my ear buds. I blushed as I stared at him.

Hobi hyung asked in a playful manner "Yah~ have you not been listening to what I was saying?"

I gulped as I looked away. "You see this earbud? And wear a shirt"

Hobi hyung laughed in amusement making me pout. I felt his hands squeezing my cheeks. "Whyyy are you soooo cuuuute?!", He asked as he began to play with my cheeks, pinching and tugging it. I blushed even more. "Stop it, it hurts!"

"I want to hit you~", he said suddenly.

I looked at him in a daring face. "Go ahead and see what happens"

As if he was unaffected by my warning, he turned me around and slapped my butt hard. My cheeks were bright red. "H-Hey... You really have no mercy do you?", I asked, feeling intimidated.

He only smiled. "I'm sorry Jiminnie~ it's just because I can't hold myself back"

Now he really is looking for payback. I grabbed and pushed him to the bed, making me on top of him. I grinned. "How do you like this now? I'm on top of you and you can only obey me!"

Hobi hyung only stared at me, surprised. Suddenly I lost confidence and got nervous. "Why...? Why are you looking at me like that?", I asked.

He smiled as he held out his hands to caress my face. "You're really cute"

I widened my eyes and felt my heart beating faster. "You're lying"

"Jiminnie~", he said in a serious tone making me stunned. His face looked really troubled all of a sudden. I felt his hands pulled me slowly closer to him. Our faces were really close and he closed in making our lips touch.

My mind was foggy and I couldn't think anymore. My body acted on its own and I kissed him back, as eagerly as he did.

"What was this?", I thought. "Why am I not stopping?"

As soon as we continued, Hobi hyung pushed me away suddenly. I felt very lost and somehow, disappointed. He stood up and couldn't face my eyes anymore making me confused. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't know what happened...", he said.

I watched him with confused eyes. "Hobi hyung... What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry that I couldn't stop myself", he said as he clenched his fists while looking down. His lips curled into a smile that was bitter. I couldn't even believe it was a smile but instead, a forced one. "Please excuse me", I watched him run away.

"Hobi hyung!!!", I called out. Why did he run away? More importantly, why did he kiss me?

his bitter smile . . .

(Part 1, and there's more to go ;-;)
(Too lazy to revise, and wait patiently for more :3)