Tatum:
Ah what a wonderful morning it is I hope I get some sexy babe to do the swimsuit photo shoot with me! OH SHIT I need to call Samual to arrange that meting with the head C.O of star magazine.
*dials number*
Samual: hello it's Samual speaking how may I assist you today?
Me: SAMUAL HEY ITS TATUM HERE I was wondering if you could call star magazine to set up that meting?
Samual: oh yes of course mr. Tatum I'll let you know by 12pm today
Me: ok thanks Samual
*hangs up*
I walk down 21 avenue and I see a little old woman with a diamond necklace on feeding pigeons
Me: hey there sweet cheeks what is a sexy lady like you doing here on this fine evening?
Lady: aw what a sweet young man! How may I help you?
Me: hehe wellll youuuu couldddd give me your little diamond necklace bitch!
Lady: NO WAY
ME: oh really now! We're gonna play that game are we?
*slices her throat open and takes the necklace*
HAHAHAH bitch she should have just given it to me, oh wait I would have killed her either way. Now where to next
