random thoughts

falling apart

I know i write about the best of life, but today i will talk about

the downfalls of it...

"How? Why?!" Is what you may be asking yourself, but the truth is,

life isn't rainbows and roses. Even the most beautiful roses have 

thorns that prick us.There comes a time when we "can't

even". In this point, we feel as if life is crumbling down on us

as we speak. there are instances when we should give up. Well

guess what? I'm not going to tell you you shouldn't do, its your

life in the end. But before you go shut down on yourself, listen

to me please.

I had a friend, her name shall remain unknown, but i told her

something that only a friend could say in the nicest way ever.

What she was doing, affected the people i cared about, i couldn't

help but warn her of her actions. She got mad at me and when i

tried to apologize, she didn't even want to look at me. as soon as

this happened, i felt like i got stabbed in the chest, it hurt like

hell. she was like a sister to me, we used to do everything

together. Hell...we even went to Florida together.

Losing her, was like losing half of my life. she meant so much to

me. One day after the incident, my dad called me to tell me that

he was moving to Tennessee, in my previous work, i described how

much he means to me. i had already lost him five times, one of

those times he was close to death, i couldn't stand the pain any

longer. he left without letting me say goodbye, my heart broke

even more than it already was.

I thought i had cried my whole life out but apparently not,why

do i say this?

Well two days after this, had become four days my cousin hadn't

come home. i kept trying to call her and she wouldn't answer.

I became so worried, she was the second person i could trust

with anything.

I tried texting my friends(family) but what had happened with

my friend had affected them too. I felt bad because we were a

family, i told them i wouldn't let anything ruin that, and here

i was ruining it myself with my idiotic self. i couldn't handle

the pain any longer, i texted my other friend and told him i

didn't want to live anymore. What happened next made me realize

i was being stupid.

Life has its downfalls, sure. But its up to you to let it ruin

the rest of your life. look...the point of this is that you need

to face your problems, whether they're big or small. running away

from them isn't going to help you. face your problems and steer

your life in another direction, or... Keep in this direction and

live your life full of sorrow and remorse... Like i said before,

I'm not gonna tell you what to do. It's all up to you.