Walking at midnight

Claustrophobia

A year later....

We arrived in the uk last night. Despite my earlier reservations I've had the most wonderful time, travelling around Europe with my Adam. I always worried that his hilarious charm would eventually fade but I was wrong. So wrong...

Adam watches his wife his nearly fold their clothes and sort them into small piles, according to colour and style. He smile's to himself and gently shakes his head. He loves her so much. Everything about her. Even the traits he worried would grow to annoy him, such as her bossiness or pedantic tendencies or the way she likes to walk alone at night . He still doesn't understand that, but it doesn't seem to matter. He understands her-Most of her anyway. The bits he doesn't intrigue him- she's so deep, so complex... So wonderful.

It's been a long day- moving into out new home. Unpacking and sorting. I'm good at sorting- always have been. Adam hasn't been particularly helpful with the folding or the ironing but what man would be. He's been great with the other stuff- the moving and the shifting. He barely let me lift a finger. He's annoying me though, watching me from the doorway-but I know he would annoy me more if he were to help. I prefer to do things like this by myself... Other people get it the way.

"Adam... Stop lurking"

He smiles. He has Such a heart warming smile, one you can't help but catch. I do love him. I really properly love him. I ask myself if I've ever felt this way about anyone. I loved Eddie. I still wonder about him, though far less now. Adam bounces onto the bed beside me. So full of energy, even jet lagged after a busy day. I can barely summon the energy to talk yet he's so full of life- his charisma showing no sign of faltering. I love that about him. I love everything about him... Most things. Something feels different though- now were back in England. There's something bugging me, at the back of my mind. What am I going to do? When we left, I gave up my job, my home, my friends...All of a sudden I am overcome by a strange sense of claustrophobia. Not physically. Not by him. By me. My own mind... I'm trapped inside my own mind and I need to get out. Of here. I need to walk.

Adam frowns.

"What's wrong Rach?! You seemed so happy earlier.. When we woke up this morning, when we for off the plane yesterday. Every day of our holidays! And now you seem so glum, so fed up. Is it being back I'm England- are you missing the sun?"

"No..."

She forces a smile.

"I'm fine- I just need some air...I just want to go for a little walk- on my own. Like I used to..."

"You still worrying? Don't. You'll find another job- I promise..."

"I just need to clear my head. I won't be long"

She offers him a reassuring smile as she puts on her coat and boots. She's sure she won't be long.