Life Sucks... Sometimes

Chapter 1

Life sucks. It takes you up and down on these stupid damned roller coasters, and expects you to survive. Well, sometimes that's a bit hard to do.

Sometimes, all I want to do is lay in bed, not go to work, not live. Is that so bad? Everyone has those days, right? Right. So today, I have decided. I am going to lay in bed and not go to work. I won't even call in to say I'm not going! Oh, sweet rebellion.

I feel a smile come to my lips as I turn away from my alarm clock, close the blinds, and go right back to sleep.

***

"Um... Jayk? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work?" A pause. It doesn't last, though. "Jaykob!"

Maybe if I pretend I'm dead he'll go away.

"Ugh, whatever. I don't know why I bother to worry about you."

Sweet silence.

I hear him sit down on his bed in our small college dorm. My annoying roommate calls himself Mason. He works the early morning shift at a nearby 24-hour convenience store. He's usually back around 10 whenever I'm home to oh-so-graciously welcome him.

"I have class in half an hour, will you be okay to make yourself breakfast?" Mason asks.

He's been babying me ever since my mom and dad died in a car accident around a week ago. They weren't my real parents. I'm adopted. Still, it hurts.

Really, I wish he'd listen when I tell him to stop babying me. The pity just reminds me of the reason for pity.

I don't need to be reminded. Especially by someone who is supposed to be my friend.

When I don't respond, I hear a deep sigh.

"Jayk. I know you're awake."

"Mace, just shut up. I'm a big boy, I can make my own breakfast," I finally snap. 800th time's the charm, I guess. Another sigh.

"Fine. Are you going to your classes today, or are you skipping that too? You've been missing too much... Finals are coming soon."

"Mace. Shut up."

"Right. Sorry... sorry." He's chewing his lip, I know it.

"What if- what if I stayed home with you? Just for today?"

"Like hell you will, bookworm. Even if the world was ending you'd ask the teacher to finish her lesson before running out screaming and crying into my arms."

"... Boy, getting real deep there. You like me or something?" Mason has a smirk in his voice.

"Oh yeah, so much," I find myself chuckling.

"Oh good, so it's not one-sided," he laughs, too.

"Now why don't you put on your little Oxford heels and scurry to Starbucks and class? I want to sleep."

"Oxford heels? Excuse you. I got a new paintball gun, I might just try it out on you," Mason says. I flip sides on my bed so I can face him, and open one eye.

"So you react to Oxford heels but not Starbucks?"

"Starbucks isn't bad."

"You wear rich white girl shoes and go to white girl coffee shops, yet you try to tell everyone around you that you're neither a woman nor gay?"

"Jayk, I'm not the one who kissed a dude last month at Em's party."

"Hey, I was drunk and Em dared me. She's too hot to say no to, and the dude seemed like he didn't mind."

"That's because he was gay, dumbass." Both of my eyes are open at this point, and I can see him rolling his.

"Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh.'" Mason takes off his coat and scarf, laying down in his bed. "Anywho, I'm not going to my classes today. One is cancelled anyway and the other two I can catch up with."

"Wow, look at you, little goody-two-shoes skipping class," I tease him, my voice laced with sarcasm, but really Mason is one of my closest friends, if not my only closest friend. I'm glad he cares enough to decide to stay home.

"Shut up or I will get the paintball gun out."

"And risk hurting your beautiful best friend? I think not," I give him a smirk and sit up, stretching out my arms. His eyes are following me even when I stand up out of bed.

"Where are you going?" He asks, much like an overbearing mother. Which he is.

"To take a piss, mom." I walk to the bathroom. Poking fun at mother figures doesn't bother me, only when I see people being all close to their parents do I get bothered.

"Whoa, you didn't sleep nude last night? Fascinating. Your butt looks cute in those boxers," Mason says with a forced obnoxious giggle.

"Yes, I figured my balls needed a change of scenery."

Mason laughs. "Yeah? How considerate." 

I get to the bathroom, go in, then poke my head out. "Wanna hold it for me?"

"Not this time, sorry hun."

"Damn." I fake pout and go into the bathroom, shutting the door.

After business was taken care of, I looked in the mirror. Stared, rather. It's become a ritual of mine. Seeing my messy, badly-needing-a-cut hair, dark circles under my once bright eyes. Telling myself it's okay, I'll get better, I won't have to pretend anymore. It's not getting better though, it's only getting worse. I can't call my mom every morning before work, hear her giving me a pep talk and me giving her one back.

Hearing her voice tell me "don't forget your lunch like you did that one time," "don't be grumpy with the customers, they won't tip you," "have a great day for me, alright?" or "I love you, Jay."

She'd be monumentally pissed if she found out I skipped work today. The thought bring an ache to my heart but I ignore it. I keep staring.

"Hey, Jayk? You okay in there?"

His voice snaps me back to reality. "H-huh? Ah, yeah. I'm fine." I rub my eyes and open the door.

"Jeez, you were in there for like 8 years." Seeing me in no immediate danger, Mason goes back to his bed.

"Sorry to worry you." I say, deadpan as I go back to my own bed. He's staring at me, confused and almost as if he's expecting something. I look at him. "What?"

"That sentence lacked your usual sarcastic spice. Penny for your thoughts?"

"Don't worry about it."

"What's wrong?"

"Everything. Nothing. I don't know. Can I sleep?" I crawl under my sheets and tuck my chin in them.

He's silent for half a moment like he's thinking, then says a simple, "Sure."