The Babysitter | Choi Seungcheol

09

3 years had already passed,

Even though my wife didn't love me the way I loved her, I still miss her, being cold and mean towards me, I accepted it with all my might. It's an arrange marriage, she has a boyfriend before she met me, her parents forced her to break up with Jongin because of my parents' wealth, just like what people see in the movies and read in the books. She hates me to the point even we were married, she kept seeing her ex-boyfriend, to be honest, Hansol and Junghan aren't my child, but I didn't tell her that I know,  I am not in the place to get mad, am I? But I don't hate Hansol and Junghan, I love them and I will always treat them as my own sons. I thought as time passed by she will learn to love me but no. You wonder how we got six kids right? Whenever she felt like it, we would make love to each other and the next morning she's back to being a cold hearted but she's different to our kids. She is kind and loving. That's why the kids miss her so much.

》Flashback《

At the funeral, we can't stop crying, all of us, we really love her to the point that we can't live without her. I shouldn't have let her carry a baby again, I didn't know that she can't handle it anymore. I should've stopped her. I blamed myself for the last five months until I saw her diary under our bed, I read it and started crying again.

March 13, 2009

I cheated on him I can't believe this. What will I do? What would I say to him? He wouldn't notice right? Would he be mad?

January 9, 2011

I hate this life, I hate him, I should've been married to Jongin, instead of him.

September 1, 2012

I think I am falling for Seungcheol but I can't, I've done so many bad things to him, I don't deserve a good guy like him, I wish I could restart.

July 17, 2012

I found out that Jongin isn't the guy I knew. I despise him to the point I want to kill him. I hate him I hate him.

February 12, 2013

Dear Seungcheol,

I'm sorry for being mean, I just can't afford to fall for you even if I am now falling. I don't deserve you, you're way too perfect for me. I hope you can feel my love through my actions, it's unbelievable but I don't despise you anymore. I am so unloyal I am so sorry for cheating. I hope one day you forgive me.

I stopped reading and burned her diary, we almost became a perfect family.

My children wouldn't stop crying except for Seungkwan and Hansol because they can't still understand a thing but they will cry whenever they see me crying, especially Chan who is still in the hospital. The eldest Junghan and Jisoo acted tough even though I hear them crying softly every night in their rooms. Seokmin was crying hard with Soonyoung, while Jihoon is still quiet, he didn't even say a single word, he just stared at nothing, he just read books to pass time but I can feel that he is in pain too.

"Appa? When will omma come back? I miss her..." Seokmin said crying as he buried his face to my stomach.

I shake my head, tears escaping from eyes, "I'm sorry I'm sorry..." I kept repeating it like a chant.

I put him to sleep, Soonyoung who always have nightmares since her death, always wakes up in the middle of the night, and then he would go to my room and sleep beside me, I held him captive in my arms, I want him to feel safe.

There are nights when we really miss her and we would just cry together. Five months had passed and I think we are moving on. I hired a nanny after I got a job but the nanny didn't last long. My kids became rebellious. So I stayed for a year and just asked money from my parents. But a year after I began to work, my friends Shownu, Wonho, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hyungwon, Jooheon and Changkyun babysit them whenever they can. I'm grateful to have friends like them, they became busy so I hired a nanny who luckily lasted for five months, she quits just because I rejected her. She confessed and tried to seduce me, I told her that I still love my wife and she ran away and didn't come back.

I told this to my best friend, Doyoon, and he just laughed at me.

"Choi Seungcheol, 2 years had passed, and still you hadn't moved on? She didn't even love you back. You need to find a new mother for your kids."

"Aish, I don't want to, what if my new wife is evil, then my kids will get hurt."

Doyoon shakes his head, laughing at me, "You're ridiculous," He sighs, "You were supposed to debut with us, but you chose to marry her and have a family, you really are a man, Cheol, I envy you."

I playfully punch him by the arms, "Yah! Stop being dramatic, you're still young Doyoon, go explore the world, enjoy. You can do those kind of stuffs but I can't."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? My kids."

He nods, "Okay okay I got it."

His phone abruptly rings, "Sorry Cheol I need to go, gonna visit you again."

"Thanks Doyoon-ah. Take care okay?" He nods and we hug each other tight.

"Bye" He went inside his car and drove away, I let out a sigh and went inside the house.

"Appa..."

"Yes Junghan?"

"Chan won't stop crying."

"Is that so?" Together we run upstairs, I went to Chan and touch him. He is burning up and I saw some rashes on his arms, legs and stomach.

"He has a fever, shit." I got my phone and called Doyoon.

"D-doyoon are you really in  a hurry? Chan is sick, I need a car-"

"Okay okay I get it, calm down Seungcheol, be there in 5." Doyoon said.

I went down to the kitchen, wet a handkerchief,  after that I put it on his forehead.

"Kids come here, Uncle Doyoon will be watching over you, while I am at the hospital, okay? Behave."

"Yes appa" They said sadly, they are concerned at Chan's condition.

"Seungcheol! I'll take care of everything here. Go!"

"A-are you sure it's fine?"

"Of course you pabo, now hurry."

I carried Chan and put his seat belt on, and rushed to the hospital.

"Chan has a Dengue so he'll be confined here for a week. We'll treat him and do some tests, thank you for bringing your son here immediately."

I nod, "Thank you too."

The doctor walks out, I got my phone and called Doyoon.

"Yah! How are you and Chan?"

"Chan has a dengue, I'm fine."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Thanks Doyoon for everything-"

"Shut up Seungcheol, you're my best friend of course I'll do everything for you."

I laugh hard, "Can you please bring my children here and tell them to pack some clothes and blankets, we'll be sleeping here with Chan."

"Okay okay-"

"And one more thing, dont forget to close the windows, lock the door and the keys, okay?"

"Yes Cheol bye"

"Take care"

"You too" And he hangs up, one hour later they showed up.

"Doyoon I'm really grateful, here are your car keys."

He raffles my hair, "That's what best friends are for, you idiot. You always helped me back then, remember? I wanted to return the favor."

"You pabo, you don't need to return the favor, you need to go right?"

"Yes, bye Cheol" He said hugging me then my kids.

"Bye Doyoon!"

"Fighting!" He said as he walked out of the door.

I turn to my kids, "I love you all please always remember that."

》End of Flashback《