O C C U R R E N C E T H R E E - It was so apPEARent.

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by colamigleo

by colamigleo

Comment pear puns
* ALSO WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE SIXTY READS. I GET FIVE BUT SIXTY? THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS. WITH EVERY READ I GAIN I GET SLIGHTLY MORE ASHAMED WITH HUMANITY. Anyways enjoy the story who ever the fuck you are.

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It started off with calls. Receiving calls from numbers we didn't recognize. Those weird numbers that you decline. They never leave voicemails. Usually. Except this guy did.

A message for Nicolina Ariella Amigleo on behalf of...

They paused as if struggling to pronounce the name.

...Pierre. You're in over your head kid. Stop before things get pearrible.

What the actual fuck. First off what the fuck do they want me to stop? Who leaves messages for other people? Why couldn't they just leave the message them self? Why did they pronounce it pearribble? Which fucker figured out my middle name? And most importantly WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NAME IS PIERRE?

I thought about it. Well if there was a pear pun it was probably a prank call from Kitty or some shit.

*TIME CHANGE WOAHHHHH

I went to lunch. Instantaneously throwing my pear sauce away. Honestly what the fuck is pear sauce?
Everyone at the table had seemed to be talking about the same thing. A call from Pierre. Each one of us receiving various threats. We spent all of lunch talking about it and theories and discussing pear sauce. We got so absorbed in the conversation that none of us noticed our phones going off.

When I got home I checked my voicemail. Another message.

A message for Nicolina Ariella Amigleo on behalf of Pierre

You just don't know when to stop, do you? I pear to the gods I will kill you and your family.

Whellp... This was getting out of hand. I texted everyone about it and they had all received messages with equally terrible threats. They threatened to kill girlfriends, brothers, sisters, parents, anyone close to us really. We were going to meet up at Ava's house to talk about it.

We decided that we had to find out who it is. I had tried to track the call. Adrian googled Pierres. Everyone else checked social media. I had just about located where the calls had been coming from when we heard a knock on the door. I didn't think much of the knock.

None of us did.

Alex had gone to answer it because we had all been to lazy. Then we heard the all to familiar scream and a slam of the door. We went to check to see what happened.

Alex was gone.

Left at the door was note.

I WARNED YOU ALL
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PEAR

Warned us? Pear? And then I realized. Pear. Pe-ar. PE-air. PIERRE. The messages they were never from a guy named Pierre. It was a mispronuciation. They were from PEAR.