I hurt her again. I was trying to get back to where we were. I love her so much and her music that she wrote about me was so captivating it showed me how much she really cared about me. It wasn't about selling records it was her raw emotion. I only broke up with her because I felt so guilty for being with her after I fucked someone else. It is so hard to be in a relationship in Hollywood. There are so many beautiful models that my dick wants to get into.
I met Lexa at a Fleetwood Mac concert in L.A. She was just herself and that showed the way she was dancing and singing. Her voice was so lovely and I had to get to know her. It was like a magnet. Our relationship was a long one. It lasted about 2 years and I was cheating towards the end. We went to the Woodies and she was wearing this beautiful dress. It was cream and made her skin so smooth. Her hair was gold but her eyes. I looked at the jade color and how she looked at me and just couldn't let her live this lie. I never told her why we were over because it would crush her. I'm waiting until we become close friends again and see if she still loves me after all this time.
I have to record today. I kicked Kendall out because I needed to focus on my music. I'm working on my first record by myself and i'm pretty excited about it. I miss the boys but I need to think about myself. I was the talented one in that group. Yes, the boys were talented but lacked the charisma that I had. I was born to be famous. I knew how to be famous.
Look at my clothes. Nothing costs less that $100 in my closet. I date models, actresses, and popstars. I look and myself in the mirror and what I just thought was all bullshit. I am no better than anyone. I am just Harry from Holmes Chapel and I just got lucky is all. I feel so alone. I miss my girl and I need to come clean about everything that i've done and also tell her how much she means to me.
I will see her on her last day of her tour. She will be near L.A again so it is the perfect time to see her. I will continue to plan. She will hopefully be mine again. I can't lose her again.
