After Goodbye

After Goodbye Part Four

Gilbert made the rest of the rounds, his eyelids heavy, hardly able to keep them open. Looking at his watch, it was 4 o'clock. There wasn't much more he could do here. Dr. Stuart had been with him most the day, nodding approvingly at every decision Gilbert had made. Now Dr. Stuart was making rounds himself. With the two of them, things went much quicker. Pride swelled within Gilbert that Dr. Stuart had trusted him to be on his own. He'd be able to open up his own practice in Avonlea immediately after medical school. Dr. Stuart had made him feel very confident about that. Only it wouldn't be with Christine anymore. It would just be him, and Anne if she'd have him. But the board of governors had just offered her a five-year contract! She'd no doubt be remaining in Kingsport, and why shouldn't she? She was going to go far. She didn't love him. She'd told him so last summer. But it didn't change the fact that he loved her. There would never be anyone for him but her. He'd rather be alone than with someone he didn't love. His mind was made up. He'd break things off with Christine. He had to put an end to the charade.

"Gilbert," Dr. Stuart said.

Gilbert spotted Dr. Stuart walking down the hallway to him. "Hello, Doctor. How are things going for you?"

"Oh, the same. The same." Dr. Stuart put his hands into pockets. "You look tired, Gilbert. You should call it a night and get some rest. After last night and all day today, you could use it."

"I'm afraid I must agree with you, Doctor. I can hardly keep my eyes open."

"We'll see you in the morning, my boy."

"Yes, Sir. See you in the morning." Gilbert stepped out of the hospital. The Stuart's house was across the massive lawn directly across the street from the college. Better now than later. He'd see Christine, get some rest, and make his plans to return to Avonlea. Once he called things off with Christine, he'd want to get back to Avonlea right away. No doubt the cancellation of his wedding would be a shock to the Stuarts as well.

It was almost summer. He'd tell Dr. Stuart he needed a break, which was true. He did need a break, and Gilbert was sure Dr. Stuart would understand. But he'd be back. He had to be back. There was medical school in the fall. But right now, he wanted to be in Avonlea. Just to look at the old school house, walk along the bridge where he'd proposed to Anne, look at Green Gables, see his old chums. Yes. He needed to go back. He'd break things off with Christine, and make plans to return to Avonlea immediately.

Gilbert clenched his hands into tight fists and took a deep breath. He put his hand to his throat; it felt kind of scratchy. Up ahead was the Stuart's home, and Christine was inside, no doubt working on her wedding dress. Gilbert slowed his pace. How was he going to do this? He was going to break Christine's heart. He swallowed, clenching and unclenching his fists. What do I say to her? There was no thinking or planning this out. He just had to do it. He had to be honest with her and himself. His mind was made up and there was no turning back.

Gilbert trudged the few steps to the door and grabbed hold of the door-knocker. He took another deep breath... and pounded.

After a few seconds the door opened. Mrs. Stuart stood before him.

"Oh, hello, Gilbert," she said. "Christine is just upstairs. Come inside, and I'll go fetch her."

Gilbert stepped inside, the warmth of the fireplace immediately soothing him. His hands were still bawled into tight fists. "Thank you, Mrs. Stuart." Gilbert unclenched his hands and blew into them, rubbing them together. "For such a fine spring day, it's awful cold out today."

"Yes, I know." She stared at him. "Do you feel all right, Gilbert? You look awfully tired. Even flushed."

"Oh, I'm fine." Gilbert shrugged and walked towards the fireplace. "I haven't gotten much sleep the last couple nights. I'm just tired." He glimpsed her then looked away. "That's all." He didn't want Mrs. Stuart to read what was probably written all over his face—his heart.