Scars (Phan) !discontinued!

Chapter 1

-Phils POV-

There I sat on the bathroom floor again. The crimson liquid poured from the open wounds that littered my arm, from wrist to elbow. 'Why'  you might ask? Well, it's not a simple answer that's easily understood by everyone. Unless of course you've been through what I have and used what I do for an 'escape'.

Whether you understand it or not, I'm going to try my best to explain my situation and my reasons for my 'violent' actions towards myself. The whole thing started awhile ago, a few years even.

I've always been a weird kid, one with not many friends. Not liked too much by my classmates. Bullied sometimes. Well.. When I got to middle school, the friends decreased and the bullying increased. I had lost all of my friends, I had not even one left.

I wasn't bothered to make any new friends, so I didn't. During lunch I hid in the bathroom. I never talked much to anyone anymore, not even my parents. Once I got out of school, I went home and stayed in my room the rest of the evening.

Then the day came when I was in the seventh grade, mom came home and said she had something to tell my father and I. We sat at the dinner table and she announced that she had been diagnosed with a disease. I can't remember what it was.
But I remember her telling us it was deadly, and I knew she wouldn't be around much longer.

Within two months she turned a pale-grey colour and lost a ton of weight. I could feel the sadness and tension throughout the entire house. Everyday dragged on, ever so slowly. We all knew it was just a matter of time before she was gone. A few more weeks passed until the day came where she finally let go and passed on to the other side.

I heard my dad cry to himself every night. Sometimes he would even scream into his pillow and punch the walls. I felt so bad, like there was something I could've done. I knew there wasn't, but I always put things on myself.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who liked to blame me. My dad stopped talking to me, stopped feeding me, stopped caring for me overall. I always figured he was just sad and couldn't bring himself to do anything. Until he started abusing me.

At first, it was just a punch here and there, or insults. I thought he just needed to let out his grief so I put up with it. But after so long, it turned into hours of beatings and hurtful words. And it became an everyday thing.

My life changed after mum passed, and not for the good. I had no friends, got bullied everyday, also got beatings from my father everyday, and on top of everything else I hated myself and wanted to die.

The urge to hurt myself became stronger overtime and I resorted to cutting. It only got worse with each passing day. And that's only where it begins, where it all started...

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Hi there. I hope you liked this first part. I'm writing this phanfiction based on more of my personal experiences, and I also just enjoy writing. There is some triggering things in this story, obviously, so if you don't feel comfortable reading it that is completely fine. I have another phanfiction, If you'd like to read it. IT DOES HAVE SOME TRIGGERING THINGS AS WELL I"M SORRY. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and will enjoy as I update. I don't really have a certain schedule for updating so yeah.. Sorry. Have a wonderPHIL day /evening /night /whatever it may be when you're reading this. Sorry that was bad. Byeeeeeee loves!

-Ty