Depression Stages

Grief

"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."

- Laurell K. Hamilton

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I walk up to the old office building that I've become familiar with over the coming months. The paint chipping off the sides and the door that always squeaks when opened. I continue to walk down the hallway that leaded me to the small area were Mr. Wades, My therapist is located. I write my name on the clipboard, then walk over to the seating area of dual colored chairs that are connected to one another, Waiting to be called.

"Annabella. Dr. Wader is ready to see you." the lady from the front desk motioned her hand for me to follow her. I got up and followed her. We walk down the hallway that seemed to be endless. After a few more turns we stop at Dr. Wader's office. She turns the knob and walks in greeting Mr. Wades.

"Hello. Mr. Wader's your patient is here to see you." She opened the door fully and motioned me to walk in. " hello Ms. Urban." He chirped in his too joyful tone. I mumble a simple hi and flash him a small smile. " So how was your day?" he said. I shrug my shoulders "Ok I guess." It sounded more of a question then an actual answer.

"Well today I want to start something new. Have you ever been under hypnosis?" he questioned. I shook my head indicating that no I haven't been under hypnosis before.

" Ok then, Ms. Urban please lie down and close your eyes," the therapist commanded. I lay down on the overly stuffed couch, closing my eye's waiting for further instructions.

" Listen to my voice. I will give you a set of instruction and you must listen careful to what I'm about to say," he commands once again and I shake my head as to say yes. Only The light from outside eliminating the room. He settled down in his seat.

" Imagine a "happy place" somewhere calm, somewhere you feel comfortable and secure like a meadow besides a gently running stream." he says speaking slowly, in a low, soothing "hypnotic" voice. I begin Imagining my happy and siren place.

" You can feel yourself relaxing now. You can feel a heavy, relaxed feeling coming over you. And as I continue to talk, that heavy relaxed feeling will get stronger and stronger, until it carries you into a deep, peaceful state of hypnosis." I feel myself relaxing letting go as I listen to his words.

"Every word that I utter is putting you faster and deeper, and faster and deeper, into a deep, peaceful state of hypnosis." he chants "Sinking down, and shutting down. Sinking down, and shutting down. Sinking down, and shutting down, shutting down completely." he repeats the words as if they were a chorus of a song "And the deeper you go, the deeper you are able to go. And the deeper you go, the deeper you want to go, and the more enjoyable the experience becomes." and I'm gone. He claps his hands together, trying to test if I'm completely in hypnosis.

" Ok this is just a simple test, I'm going to ask you a question and you must answer it." he pauses "Do you remember what you wore the first time you walked into my office?" memories flooding into my mind like a fray train hurtling towered me. Pink, purple, shirts and shoes everything popping into my head all at once.

Then everything stopped.

A picture of me in an oversize gray jumper, black jeans, and a pair of red converse to cover my feet.

It seemed as if my mouth had a mind of it's own because as soon as the picture popped up my mouth started saying exactly what I wore.

" Perfect." he sighs. I hear the familiar sound of him scribbling away on his notepad.