Drink, Slay, Love

Chapter Six

Antoinette bounced on her bed and clapped her hands. "Girls' night!"

Underneath the house, in her cousin's room, Pearl contemplated an ignoble retreat. "Yeah, thanks, but I'd rather chug holy water. All I need is one outfit." She shot a look at Antoinette's closet door and wondered if Antoinette had rigged it with any booby traps. If not, Pearl could sneak in there while Antoinette was out hunting. . . She'd most likely laced it with holy-water traps. Antoinette loved her clothes. "Maybe two outfits. Just until I have a chance to shop."

"Oh, glorious shopping! Helpful sales staff waiting on your every wish! 'Miss, can I bring you another size? Another color?'" Antoinette hopped to her feet on top of her bed and pointed at imaginary clothes. "Yes, please, I'd like a size four. Or do you think I'm a two? And could you send me that boy at the cash register, please? I'm feeling peckish. No, not the one with the tattoo. That one. Mmm." She flopped down on the bed and sighed in delight.

"Okay, then," Pearl said. "You enjoy yourself. I'll come back later."

"Pearly, no!" Antoinette flipped off the bed and darted to the door. She blurred into a streak of pink and blonde. Pearl shifted backward, prepared to strike if she had to. Antoinette's speed was alarming. "You've never, ever asked me for anything before. You can't blame me for being excited. We have the potential for a real bonding moment here, you and I. We could become BFFs." Antoinette wrapped her arm around Pearl's shoulders.

Pearl considered breaking her arm. Just a spin and a chop, and the deed would be done. Regretfully, she decided that she needed the clothes more than the satisfaction. Plus Antoinette was fast, and a failed arm break would be a bad idea. "I'm not playing truth or dare with you. We aren't going to start texting. All I want is one standard high school outfit."

Antoinette laughed, a high-pitched squeal like a squeezed pig. "Silly, Pearly! That's why you need the girls' night." She bounded across her room and inserted a DVD into her TV. Antoinette was the only vampire in the Family who was addicted to TV.

Wielding the remote, Antoinette sped through the nondescript opening credits. "You're joking," Pearl said as the image of a high school appeared.

"I never joke about Molly Ringwald." Antoinette plopped back on her bed and patted a spot next to her. "Listen well, young padawan, there's no such thing as one 'standard' outfit." She hit play on the remote. "The first thing you need to decide before you can choose an outfit is which clique you plan to join. And you announce that by your clothes." She upped the volume for the movie's opening voice-over. "You can be a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, or a criminal. Or if you prefer: nerd, jock, dirtbag, mean girl, et cetera." She pointed to each human.

Pearl drifted farther into the room, compelled by the TV. "Humans don't . . . Did he just set his shoe on fire?" As Antoinette skipped through scenes, Pearl watched the boy in a blue tank top bounce his fluffed hair as he played air guitar. A girl in a baggy sweater and a redhead danced on a railing. A scene or two later, they were crawling through ceiling ducts. "This can't be an accurate portrayal of the human education system."

"Wait, wait! I skipped the best part." Antoinette rewound and then stopped and said in sync with the actor, "You're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie." She shook her head in admiration. "Best insult ever."

"You like this movie?"

"After Breakfast Club, you must watch Sixteen Candles. 'What's happenin, hot stuff?'" Antoinette jumped up again, and Pearl wondered if she'd drunk from an overly caffeinated donor tonight. "Oh, and we have to do your nails!"

Pearl put her hands behind her back. "Clothes, Antoinette. Focus."

Antoinette pouted. "You didn't select your type."