Jar-Jar is love, Jar Jar is life

I was only nine, I loved Jar Jar so much, I had all the merchandise and all the star wars films, I pray to Jar Jar every night before bed thanking him for the life I've been given. "Jar Jar is love, Jar Jar is life." My dad overhears me and calls me a "Gungan", I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Jar Jar, I call him a "Sith". He cuts my hand with his light saber and sends me to bed. I am crying now, and I don't have a hand anymore. I lay in bed, and it's really warm. I feel something wet touch me. It's Jar Jar, I am so happy. He whispers in my ear "mesa gonna show you the light." He picks me up with his mighty webbed Gungan hands and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my ass cheeks for Jar Jar, I can feel my ass tearing as my eyes water. I push against the force. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with love. My dad walks in, Jar Jar looks him in the eyes and says "It's all Gungan now." Jar Jar hops into my fish tank and swims away. Jar Jar is love, Jar Jar is life.