I Killed My Best Friend

1. Nightmare

"I can't believe you did that to me."
I heard Tiff's voice.

"It had to be done."
I heard Ethan say smirking.

Tiff was running and a car hit her. Her face face blood stained, beyond recognition.

"Noo...."

I woke up screaming in my bed.
It was half past 3 in the morning.
I was sweating and out of breath.

This nightmare had been haunting me since past 5 years.

Each night after Tiff's death I had been haunted by this same nightmare.

I popped an antidepressant in my mouth swallowing it.

I had been on high doses of antidepressants and sleeping pills to fight my nightmares.

I tried steadying my breath. I knew I was done sleeping for today.

I took out my heart shape necklace from around my neck.
I popped it open to reveal a key.

I took the key and went inside my walk in wardrobe.

I pulled aside my trench coats to reveal a secret drawer, well camouflaged with the mahogany lamination of the closet walls.

I unlocked it to reveal a small walnut chest. I opened it and took out the second key inside it.

I walked out of my room to Tiffany's which was the room next to mine. It had been kept locked on my orders after her death.

I unlocked the door and got in carefully locking the door behind me.
I knew no one would be awake at this hour but I couldn't take the risk.
It was way too personal. Her room had purple walls with star printed wallpaper.
I remembered how she had thrown a big fit choosing her wallpaper.
Dad had to get the wallpaper specially designed for her, in her shade of purple. She was very particular about her preferences.
I smiled at the memory.
I walked inside her closet....
------------------------------------------------------

I wore a pink dress and carefully applied foundation and concealer under my eyes to hide the growing dark circles and eye bag, each passing day.

If mom and dad saw my condition they would get so worried and take me to the best therapist in the country and I didn't want that.

I applied eye liner and tying up my hair in a high ponytail walked down to the breakfast table to join my mom and dad.

"Morning mom. Morning dad"

"Morning sweetheart.... It's french toast in the breakfast."
Mom replied merrily.

She was dressed in a formal suit with a loose bun. Dad was dressed in a black suit.

"Meeting?" I asked.

"Yeah. Chicago business deal"
Dad said.

So many things had changed.

"One who gives mom and dad a kiss first wins!" Tiff said running downstairs.

"Unfair! You have long legs!" I squealed following in close pursuit. I knew she was running slow on purpose.

She was first to give daddy a kiss.

Mom bent down and I planted a wet kiss on her cheek.

"Awww! You got to mommie first"

"And you to daddy"

I flash backed.

I ate half of my break fast. I had lost my appetite.

I was losing pounds at an alarming rate. I was now skinny like a french model.

"Cya" I said kissing them.

I got inside my Mercedes and drove over to Hunt's.

"Hey Jake"

"Hey Chrissy"

I drove him to school with me everyday.

After Tiff's was gone he had been my support system.

He kept me in working condition when all I wanted to do was just spend my life crying, lamenting my loss.

He was my best friend.

"You through with Mr. Erasmus' work?"
He asked.

"Didn't even touch it"
I said shrugging.

I didn't bother asking him. He was great at maths so he would have already done it.

"You are in serious trouble miss" he said sounding like a typical teacher.

"Give me your copy. I'll do it for you"
He said sincerely.

He worried way too much for me. It felt so unreal.

"Dude you gonna get all wrinkly and freckled by the time you hit puberty."

"Miss I hit puberty when you were still dressing and undressing barbies. It's just that you don't see it"

"Aww! Don't get all crybaby. Sometime later"

I parked my car.

We walked over to the entrance.
He went over to join his guy friends.

I saw Jenny there.
She saw wearing a baby blue short dress and her killer heels.

She was busy kissing a guy from my French class.

"Guys get a room" I said looking away.

"Hey Chrissy!"
She said hugging me. She was cute and short, coming almost to my chin.

"I'll catch you later" she said to that guy, smoothing out her brown waves.

"I never knew you fancied blonds? You were always after the tall dark and hot ones"
I asked her.

"But he's cute!"

"You won't last longer than today"

I knew her too well. Last time she ever fell for a guy was tenth grade. She was head over heels in love with a twelfth grader, he just used her. Now she just played along with guys. She won't let it get serious, though.

We parted for our classes.

I had English first.

I took the last seat in a corner.

I pulled out Tiff's diary and started reading it.
I had already read it millions of times. But still wore out my eyes reading it searching for clues.
I needed clues.