Still Not Broken

Chapter 4

Leila
Days went by, and Ben still passed by everyday; stopping at 7:00 AM and leaving at what felt like past midnight. I seriously doubted the guy gets any sleep, and that was because of me. "If you feel uncomfortable, you can regard me as your nurse," he says "plus, I am the one responsible for this. You're a mess!" And then, he pointed his finger at me, moving his head from side to side in disagreement as if to tease me. I laughed, but deep inside, I always get the feeling that he does all this only out of pity and nothing more. Ben was the only guy I've looked upon since Daniel. The only guy who'd given me butterflies since Daniel.

The lovely stranger next door was no longer a stranger. I guess he's the closest thing to me right now. Right now, Ben was standing over the counter making what seemed like a messed up dinner, which made me smirk. "All done. Don't move, I'm coming." He placed two trays before me; the food looked like it'd come out of a wild food fight in a high school. I was just going to tease him, when he made a face, "You know I don't usually cook for anyone except for special people."

I clamped my mouth shut. Special. Oh dear. The food was edible. But I didn't think about the food as much as I thought about the foreign, yet so familiar body watching every breath I took. Special, I thought. What a beautiful word, the kind of word that's so simple yet so affecting. Words like that could send someone to a fantasy land they've always dreamed of. Special, Beautiful, Breath taking, perfect and many more. Words like these could make earth such a happy place because they're more meaningful than a billion flowers and kisses. He thinks Creeper is special. Nice. I couldn't help but smile. When I looked up, he smiled at me—really smiled that it reached his eyes. And right now, I wished I could live in this sweet moment forever. Ben. I. In the little world we've created together and allowed no one in but ourselves.
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Ben
No one was an exception besides Jaime, but Leila was an exception to that. Leila was always an exception to everything. "You're a pretty cool person," Leila said, "Yeah, I already know." I told her, and she shot me a glare. But then the air between us got heavy and her gaze found me, as searching for something— someone within me.

"I like you," the words left the shore of my lips seeking refuge in her heart. I had no idea what I was doing, but this, this had to be done. Right now, all I could think about was nothing more than the Creeper next door. I lose sleep thinking about how her brown hair shines in the sun, and how her glasses were always two sizes too big for her face, yet looked adorably cute. And most importantly, how Leila was nothing like Jamie. "Uhh... I... I..." Leila blushed. And I immediately regretted the three words that will come haunting me every night at sleep, that's if I find sleep. "You need to leave." She finally told me. Oh my cursed life. "Leila I... I didn't mean to..." She avoided looking at me and finally raised one hand waving me away. I said no more words and left with no thoughts on my mind but that one telling me I've perfectly ruined everything. I don't deserve to love. I don't deserve to be loved, especially after Jamie. The trip to my apartment usually took 2 minutes, yet, today it felt like an eternity, and I felt pain with every step I took. Oh, Leila.