Him [Punk l.h]//ON HOLD

5.0

Bit boring this one sorry, working in two other stories

"Now if I sit slightly to the side do you think they'll be able to see you walk out behind me? There's that column there and with the half wall you'll probably look naked if you don't make the towel obvious." I was sat in front of my laptop at my desk, planning out how this whole 'accidental outing' thing would work.

"Yeah and like incase they don't all pick it up then, then later I'll like call out like 'Babe have you seen my shirt!' Or something like that and you could freak out and quickly cover the mic with like a tea towel and lower your laptop and just come off to the side with me." Luke suggested and I nodded,

"Yeah and I'll come back looking a flustered and stuff, yeah that sounds good." I agreed, "OK well, we have half an hour, I'm gonna start setting stuff up, you can get ready for your shower or whatever and uh yeah." I rambled,

"Ok."

-

I sat in front of my computer and clicked the little green button in the centre of my page that said 'go live'. Immediately, 200 people were on it.

"Hello!" I chuckled, "Holy shit! I've been streaming for one second and there's already what? 275 of you! 300! What?! That's crazy!" I awed, "OK so I've gotta tweet this but is there anything you wanna talk about before the others come flooding in? Penis, say hello to May, hi May, umm follow me on Twitter, marry me, no thanks I don't know you, you could be a psycho killer, who's the guy, what guy? Cailey do you wanna go out, no I don't know you, ok I'm gonna tweet it." I smiled, mumbling to myself as I typed out the link and sent it off. Over 20'000 new people were now watching me and pretty soon the numbers climbed until I had 650'000 pairs of eyes on their screens, on me.

"Whoa, OK. Oh my god can we just talk for a minute. I was stung by a bee today guys. Like I went outside for less than a minute, I was literally walking to my car just down the end of my frikkin driveway and I look down and there's a fucking bee just on my arm. So I try to shoo it away and it stings me! I mean it didn't hurt but I mean man that's why I was shooing you! I'm no threat to your queen, do I look like the terminator to you man? Bees are supposed to be friends! Wasps are supposed to be the lil bitches that sting you for no reason other than the fact that they're dicks! So that was the most exciting part of my day." I admitted, "What about you? My bee story sucks, anyone give birth or something? Anyone just been born like minutes ago and is just chillin' in the basket next to ma browsin'?" I asked laughing, "'this is my dick are you impressed?' From Martinez, no Martinez, I am not impressed, nor will I ever be impressed by your baby carrot sized penis as I am an unimpressable human being. And if that's not a word then I guess I'm not a human being." I stated, "Carly says 'my mom gave birth to my baby brother yesterday!' Congratulations Carly but unless that was today, you gave birth or you are the baby or all three then I am still unimpressed. I'm kidding, that's so cool! Did she name him Kyle? Don't actually tell me, let me just imagine that she named him after me and I'll be happy." I beamed when I saw in the corner of the screen, Luke emerge from the bathroom and walk across the room before quickly sliding behind my bedroom door. "Who's that guy behind you? What guy? I can see my screen, you can't freak me out by saying someone's behind me." I laughed panicky,

"BABE WHERES MY SHIRT?!" Luke shouted out from my room. My eyes widened and I quickly covered the camera and microphone (intentionally not properly but they didn't need to know that),

"Excuse me for a moment, I'm just going to throw a tea towel over you and I will be back okie." I apologised frantically, practically sprinting out of the room after tossing the towel over the laptop. I made sure to slam the door behind me as loud as I could waiting a minute as Luke looked like he was gonna piss himself laughing silently on my bed, before returning to my laptop, breathing heavily,

"Um, hi." I smiled sheepishly, "That's my.... Brother? No ew that's so weird." I rambled, "Um well that was Luke.... So let's pretend that nothing ever happened! Ok? Ok! So has anyone else got something they wanna share except for 'OMG shirtless dude'? No? Well I think that might cut this show a wee bit shorter than usual, bye guys!" I slammed my laptop shut and leant back in my chair, breathing a sigh of release, "so what do you wanna do now?"

-

"Why did you decide to become a model?"  Luke asked, tossing a popcorn kernel into the air and in his mouth,

"Made it easier to pick up chicks if they'd seen me in one of their fashion magazines. What about you?" I responded,

"Same reason." He smirked, "Ok, how many relationships have you been in, that have lasted longer than a one night stand."

"I can count em on one hand. There was this guy called Daniel when I was like living in England for a period of time in lower high school for like a year, when I went through my subtle emo-ish phase. I think he's a YouTuber or something now so he's doing well, he was nice, we stayed in touch. There was Tyga in senior year of high school for a couple months, he wasn't great but you know, he bought me stuff and got me into awesome clubs and parties. I'm there was Benjamin when I was 19, he was older, in a band, he played guitar or something and we went out for like a year, also got me into clubs and parties but like totally different crowd. We broke up 'cause one year I decided to go to warped tour with a couple friends and unknowingly hooked up with his band mate Danny Wassledrop or whatever and he caught me literally in the middle of his bus! I didn't even know he was playing there! It was a crappy relationship anyways, I didn't even know the name of his band, Answering Alexia or something like that-"

"You mean Asking Alexandria? You dated Ben Bruce? And then fucked Danny Worsnop?!" He asked, dumbfounded and I nodded,

"Anyways, then I went out with Lynn, she and I dated for like 9 months and then I fucked Cara while she was on warped tour with her band, who I ended up dating for two months and then she signed a movie deal for some John Green book and we broke up cuz it wasn't really worth it in the scheme of things. And a few weeks later I went out with Shawn Mendes for like six months like 8 months ago. And that ends the tale of my relationships that lasted longer than 7 hours. And I suppose you technically count, we've been fake dating for about a week or two." I shrugged,

"So let me get this straight. You dated Danisnotonfire, Tyga, Ben Bruce, Lynn Gunn, Cara Delevingne and Shawn Mendes?! That's insane! Six relationships and you've dated more celebrities than I've met!" He said in utter awe,

"Oh but I'm a super lousy girlfriend. I ended up cheating on all of them with their friends." I admitted, "I guess that's why I haven't been one for over a year."

"Damn...." He breathed, "Is that why the media's freaking out over it so much? Saying I'm the guy who 'tamed' you?" I nodded and shrugged,

"Oh well. I guess I can't really go screw a load of strangers for now can I?" I rubbed my face, "Well I guess we could always bang..." I trailed off, pursing my lips,

"Well uh yeah I suppose we could." He mumbled, face flushed red and acting all flustered,

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry  I'm just thinking out loud, uh, sorry." I apologised quickly, "Um, was there anything you wanted to do before you started modelling?"

"I uh wanted to be in a band, I played guitar since I was like 10 or whatever and I guess I was just a huge music nerd." He smiled reminiscently, "How many songs have you got about you?"

"15 songs and 9 tattoos." I smirked, "All my exes, except Cara and Dan, and everyone I screwed when I was with them. Plus one song by Nicki which was supposed be a joke song but then she actually released it and we had a good laugh. Stupid Hoe." I chuckled,

"Well... Um today's been fun but it's getting late, I should get going." He nodded getting up,

"Aw no stay, you can crash here if you want?" I offered, "Please? Michaels gonna end up at some chicks house or his mates and I hate being alone here at night it scares the shit outta me." I pleaded,

"Oh uh yeah, sure." He nodded, "Why not."