Empty Sheets

(1) Another Rose

Another rose. Another note. This time, it tells me to call him when I get the chance. I stare at the note attached to the flower, which is set on his pillow. I don't understand why he even bothers. Why has he been bothering for the past week? None of these gestures mean anything to me any more.

You can't stay in a marriage when the drive no longer exists. When everything becomes hollow, why continue to torture yourself when the signs are telling you that happiness is elsewhere? It's a morbid thought for anyone to face, but it's impossible to fully grow if life doesn't sprinkle us with murky water now and then. Without the murkiness, I wouldn't be striving to see what clarity is.

I will admit, though, that being with Geoff has been a learning experience. It's helped me develop in preparation for the next stage in my life.

After a couple moments of laziness, I set the bed sheets aside and get out of bed. I start to make my way to the bathroom when I hear my phone buzz. I can't help the irritated breath that escapes me as I expect to see a text from Geoff. When I see Rachel's name, my heart pumps relief into my blood. She wants to meet at our usual coffee shop. Sounds about good. Otherwise, I'd be driving myself crazy over when Geoff wants to finally sign the papers. I change out of my white tank and shorts, and replace them with jeans and a tee I'm proud to say still fits me since my last year in high school.

That had also been the last year I would see Geoff before taking off for college.

We had been walking along the pier in Santa Monica with ice cream cones in our hands. It was the typical cutesy image of a young couple. These were the carefree times. These times are necessary for everyone so that people can experience what young love is like. Then from that, they can take their knowledge and use that for a more mature future love.

At the time, Geoff and I didn't know what we were getting into. We didn't know that, with time, our youthful love would extinguish and turn into something dull and routine. That love ages. It withers. It runs its course.

How would Geoff had known any of that as he stopped walking along the pier to tell me to look at him? If he had seen the future, he wouldn't have sighed and said, "...you know, if I had the funds, I'd go to New York with you."

He would have instead seen this as an opportunity to move on and see other people. Luckily he didn't though. As I said, we've learned from the decaying relationship.

"Don't talk like that," I told him. "Your dream is here...to write scripts and get your big break..." I giggled and licked my ice cream cone.

Geoff let out a sigh and brushed my hair back, which was what he usually did when he was about to tell me that he loved me. Instead of saying it though, he told me those words with his piercing grays and asked, "You really think we're gonna make it?"

His motions and gaze had made me melt so many times, which was why I blushed and gave his lips a quick kiss. "You're the greatest guy in the world. Why would I ever give that up? A move across the country won't change that."

A seventeen-year old with such a romantically assertive response to a man who hasn't given her that magical look in months. I'm not feeling at all resentful however.

Those were sweet memories.