Empty Sheets

(4) Phone Call

Rachel points her spoon at me. "You know...you never told me about those monologues that you and Taylor wrote." She takes the spoon and mixes the cream in her coffee.  

I almost chuckle. "Because it doesn't matter now. You just like hearing my stories." I smile a little.  

"Of course I do! You always told me about you and Geoff..." She sips her coffee and her eyes find the window to the right. "It's why I was shocked when you first told me you were getting divorced from him." 

I sigh lightly because I know where she's going. "You've been away too long to understand. You only had my texts and occasional phone calls to go by. Geoff and I practically rushed into getting married without bothering to-" 

My phone rings.  

I take it out of my purse and lean back against the seat while mentally rolling my eyes.  

Rachel must have read my expression. "Why don't you take the call? See what he wants. Maybe he signed the papers." 

"After leaving me a rose?" 

"It could be a goodbye rose. You know...for old time's sake." 

She's right. After all this time, Geoff has no reason to try (yet again) to fix things now. Knowing him, he's been swamped with work and just needed time to think over my decision. He's a writer, so he thinks a lot.  

I put the phone to my ear. "Hey..." 

The other line is silent for a few seconds. I hear his light breathing. I almost speak again, but then I finally hear his voice. "Did you see my note?" 

I close my eyes and tighten one of my fists. "...yes." 

"Why didn't you call?" 

I cut him off before he can possibly say anything else. "Geoff...are you calling me just to ask why I didn't call you, or are you going to go ahead and say something else?" 

He lets out a soft sigh. "Why are you being this way, Rin? I'm just trying to talk to you." 

He's the only one who has ever shortened my name like that.  

I put my fingers to my forehead. "Talking hasn't done much. You and I both know that. If you're not going to talk about the papers..." 

Rachel is uneasy. So is Geoff, which is why he interrupts me. "Have lunch with me today...please. You know what time my break is. Just lunch. I'm not asking for much." 

He nearly whispers the last sentence as if he's afraid someone might overhear. I lower my fingers and probably let out yet another sigh. I have to clear my head. There's no harm in having lunch with my soon-to-be-ex-husband. "Fine, Geoff. Fine. I'll see you later then." 

If I know him well enough, he's probably nodding now. "Thank you, babe." 

I hang up and let out a long breath. I don't know why I'm acting this way. I don't know why I'm allowing this situation to bother me this much. Maybe it's because I hate the fact that Geoff prolongs all the important decisions. I've reached that point where I want to move forward already, but outside forces hold me back, so I'm unable to do much but wait.  

Rachel clears her throat after what seems like an eternity of silence. "I'm sure he's not that much of a bad guy, Corinna." 

"He's not," I say quickly. I don't make eye contact with her. "He's not. He's just causing me a lot of stress right now." 

Rachel is quiet. She sips her drink a couple times. I know she's thinking about my relationship. She did it every time I mentioned the pitfalls and rises with Geoff. It's in her to analyze. That's why she's so good at what she does in creating dream moments for couples. Whether they're illusionary or reality dreams, only time reveals. 

"You think I'm doing the wrong thing?" I ask. Many friends would be quick to judge, so I make it easier for Rachel.  

She shakes her head while looking down at her mug. "I just think that-for the remainder of your marriage to him-you shouldn't have one negative thought. See how that works for you." 

Hah! Not close to possible! 

Despite that, I actually smile at her because I think back to our college days when she would offer advice to fellow students who came up to her at random. They had heard of her through the campus radio station. I'm a little shocked she doesn't have her own talk show by now. Her blog, resume, and network might help her get there.  

"You should find a man one day," I tell her. "You'll see how hard it really is." 

Rachel finishes her coffee. "That's the point. If it was easy, how boring would that be?" 

I smile again and stand up. "Gotta go. Geoff's lunch is only minutes away." I slide the chair under the table. "Thanks for the coffee. My treat next time." 

Rachel chuckles and stands after I do. "I'll see you around, Corinna. If you ever need a break, just let me know." 

I thank her. Then I say bye and leave in more of a rush than I would have expected. I'm treating this lunch meeting like an appointment I can't miss. Well...maybe it is. I might just be hoping that this will finally be the moment when Geoff completes his side of the deal. I can only hope, right?

Geoff works at the main headquarters for 8 Minutes-the advertisement agency. When I park my car along the sidewalk, I see him coming down the stairs. He's looking for me. It's so easy to tell, even if he isn't turning his head in every direction. I let out a breath and release my hands from the steering wheel. Then I step out of the car and watch him from across the street.  

You know that feeling you get when you see someone you love-that feeling of elation? That feeling of comfort? That specific sensation that reassures you that you belong somewhere, regardless of the troubles?  

Yeah, well...I don't feel that any more. I don't feel it as I watch him. I don't feel it as I cross the street toward him. Or even as I call his name.  

Geoff looks toward me. He sees me...and he partially smiles. He approaches me, and I prepare myself. I clutch at my purse and hold it in front of me with both hands. My breath is steady as I wait for him. 

It's time.