my hands still shake all the time
maybe its due to my anxiety,
or when i picture you holding hers
like you used to hold mine.
your father hated your bad habits
but is he disappointed now,
as you have to get drunk every night
to forget that i was once your home.
all of my friends tell me that i yell
your name when i'm intoxicated,
because thinking of you costs too much
and its the only time i can afford it.
i hated it when you got into your fights
but i wonder if she's the one who helps,
wiping your blood on her white shirt
like i did that all those years ago.
we both knew you had bad habits,
but it seems like you were mine.
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