Farrah's Mind

A New Surprise.

A/N: I'm having kind of a bad week. Lots of issues that no one knows about. But I still love you guys. Hope you enjoy.
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I don't want revenge anymore. I just want to feel again. I wanna be happy. Only happy. So I'm gonna turn it all off. I'm gonna throw a party and become the biggest slut at school. And I don't care who knows it. I don't care. Funny thing to say when its actually true. Everyone says it but never means it. Everyone cares. Not me. I hate everyone and everything. It wouldn't matter what I do. I'm sick and tired of crying myself to sleep.

I'm just a bad girl. A little naughty nobody. Whatever. I'm over it. I'm over everyone. I stopped trusting people a long time ago. But now it seems someone cares about me. I have no idea why but he does. He isn't in it for the sex. He just wants to be my friend. Something I haven't had in a long time. Why do I all of a sudden trust him. He is attached to bad history. But still he draws me in. Curiouser and curiouser. I guess its because he understands me. How though? How can he understand a single thing I'm going through.

I started talking again. Short small worded sentences. But speech. Only around him. He is healing me. He made me smile. He lured me in and I trusted him. I was vulnerable around him. I let my walls down. I felt. I didn't realize it at first but I finally was happy. It was like a light sent into my darkness. But he had a darkness too. I loved being understood. Helped. Healed. My empty black and blue heart was whole again. Just a friend. But so meaningful. I was grateful.

Maybe I healed him too. He seemed to talk a lot. He told me everything. He trusted me with his darkest most twisted secrets. I was intrigued. Was it a prank? Was I being played just to get torn down? I had to protect myself. But I felt myself caring for him, and I liked how he treated me like I was special. Like I had purpose. I felt loved, and I loved it.

I could never replace Will. Ever. But Luke. Luke was special. He came into my life at a perfect time when I needed someone most. Luke became my best friend. Yet, I never told him about Will. I wondered why. But how do you just bring up the fact that my ex-best friend killed himself. So I kept that to myself. I didn't go to school with Luke. He was much older than me. 4 years older. But he was still my best friend. Luke was my missing puzzle piece. He began to mean a lot to me. And I was scared. Scared of letting someone in. Scared of being betrayed again. Scared of a lot. But it was happening...and I liked it.